Chess is a lot like poker. If you don't sit down at the table, what good is it to have a hand full of Kings, Queens, and Aces or a poker face? That serious look on somebody's face is no longer helping them out at anything.
Whether it's chess or poker, none of the cards or pieces do anybody any good if nobody got them to sit down at the table and play. They are just pieces of paper (like money) or plastic (like chips in poker or chess pieces).
by The Original Agahnim December 17, 2021
If two people never sit down at a table and engage in the chess match, none of the pieces on the board, not even the queen (the most powerful piece) has any real power. The closer somebody gets you to the board, the more of the illusion you miss.
As long as somebody can get you to play chess, they can also get you to do what they want you to do.
by The Original Agahnim December 17, 2021
The worst kind of game (or sport) is the one that seems designed to be taken seriously. Games (and sports) are the opposite of anything seeious, and there are already enough people in the world always wearing a silly looking game face, a kind of poker face that makes them look and sound more serious than they actually are.
Chess, checkers, they're both games. Warning shots, warning barks, anything with the word warning in front of it seems meant to be taken seriously, and yet that still doesn't mean they came from a serious person, any more than mandates, restrictions, or laws.
by The Original Agahnim September 23, 2021
Chess has a lot of double standards feminists don't mention when whining about social justice, like a queen being able to move freely while the king can move one space at a time, and it's a lot like life, though life is not a game to everyone.
The queen is the most free piece on a chess board, and yet feminists still try to claim they are marginalized somehow, when really they only were in the past on the surface, though those times are in the past, assuming they are exactly as bad as feminists describe them in terms of historical accuracy. Female children don't get ass whoopings from authority figures such as parents, in what way have females always not had it made in life? It's males that are fucked, they get the short end of the stick on everything.
by The Original Agahnim September 2, 2021
When somebody says something is chess not checkers, they're implying that it is somehow more serious, or to be taken more seriously than checkers if it's chess, even though they are both games. Not everything in life is a board game, so the worst kind of game is one that seems designed to be taken seriously when games are the opposite of serious.
by The Original Agahnim September 23, 2021
by raiders2145698 December 3, 2020
One of the world's oldest games, chess is classified as a board game, but is more like a mental sport, and is actually a massive example of the Dunning-Kruger effect. No matter how good you are at the game, you still suck, even the greatest players know they suck, and if you think you are good, you most DEFINITELY suck. All chess tournaments are competitions of who sucks least, everybody sucks to some degree, unless your name is Magnus Carlsen, and even he sucks next to a computer. It is believed (though not proven) that a perfectly-played game of chess will always end in a draw, and when someone wins, it is always because the other person fucked up.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
I play chess because I hate myself.
by q359 July 25, 2023