Goose Detective

A person who comments on a situation or offers solutions without any significant prior knowledge of the situation. As a result, they usually get the wrong end of things and offer incorrect or inaccurate opinions. Can also be used to refer to incompetent, delusional, bumbling or buffoonish people. Occasionally used to describe someone who makes up rules to games in order to allow themselves to win. A goose detective is usually genuine in their delusions, however, rather than trying to troll people or screw people over.

"He lectured me at length about how his computer wasn't turning on, yet he never checked to make sure it was plugged in. He's such a goose detective."

"You have to own all the properties of the same colour before you can build any houses on them."
"Really? I didn't think you did."
"You do; it says so here in the rules."
"I'm sure you don't have to! I'm going to build a house here anyway."
"You're such a goose detective!"

by Cooltrainer Hugh July 13, 2012

BULLSHIT DETECTOR

Its name says it all. It detects bullshit and crap that piles from other people's mouths like verbal shite. They don't know your detecting their full of shite approach and i probably doubt they care. But hey oh. Your bullshit detector goes off the radar when you speak to certain people and you have that quizzical look on your face, a raised eye brow and your hand on your chin and they still talk shite at you.

Bullshit detectors are a must have. - get one today.

"Hey Dave my bullshit detector tells me your talkin a load of shit."

That guy talks a load of shit. My bullshit detector ran right of the spectrum soon as he opened his mouth.

by Moscow Man June 8, 2020

Meth detective

Noun/ Person under the influence of methamphetamine and/or another hard drug that thinks they are discovering or unmasking a large conspiracy.

There was a lady across the road screaming about how lizard people are taking over the world, I think she’s a meth detective.

by Dread Pirate Phillips May 8, 2022

Rubbermaid™ brand lie-detector

That huge gray plastic barrel at the curbside in which you mindlessly threw out the nice gift that the child down the street worked so hard to create for you. Said innocently-trusting youngster then happens upon said container before the trash-man has carted it away, of course his tenderly-impressionable eyeballs observe said callously-discarded gift, which of course painfully marks him for life and shows him what a shameless lying a**h**e you actually are to have praisingly told him how much you appreciated his gift and all the work he'd gone through to create it for you.

Here's how to avoid having your Rubbermaid™ brand lie-detector make mincemeat of your stellar reputation with the neighborhood children. First, be sure to prominently-display anything they give you --- such as paper-artwork or a clay sculpture --- inside the front room of your house for at least two or three weeks, so that if the young creators of said "masterpieces" happen over to visit, they will always have their happy pride of your appreciation re-affirmed by seeing their "treasured gifts" still visible for all to see. Then after maybe a month or so, try moving the exhibits further along down the wall or into another room, so that if a child happens to notice the absence of his creation in its "customary" spot, you can just hastily show him that you have merely moved it, but that you do indeed still have it on display. Then, if the youngster doesn't comment any more on the object's absence during subsequent visits or go to the other spot to look at it, you can safely assume that he has lost interest in said object, and so you can then put it away in a desk drawer or someplace else hidden, but where you can still hastily retrieve it again if necessary. Then if there is still no reference to said object within a couple more weeks, THEN AND ONLY THEN can you probably safely discard the item, BUT ONLY IN A MANNER THAT DOES NOT RISK THE CHILD'S SEEING IT... don't just toss it "openly" into a trash can where it can easily be seen by anyone just moseying by!

by QuacksO November 25, 2018

hyperactive racism detection

A mental condition that causes very dumb humans to believe absolutely everything is racist.

Tyrone- "that mosquito bit me. It's racist"
Tyrone- "that mosquito didn't bite me. It's racist"
Bob- " dude, give the hyperactive racism detection a rest "

by Kedielover April 30, 2023

Defective Flypaper

When, for whatever reason (tired, drunk, hungover, preoccupied, just not understanding, etc.), someone is explaining something to you and it's just not sticking.

I seem totally unable to comprehend what was just said. I feel like defective flypaper right now.

by DarthKiljoy March 5, 2009

delectalicious

combination of delectable and delicious; used to describe something (usually a food item) that is mouthwatering beyond words; usually said of desserts.

Those brownies are delectalicious!

by bukogirl February 3, 2010