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Walmart Children 

Children, ages 1 through 11, seen at Wal-Mart after 10:30pm no matter whether it is a weekday school night, holiday night, weekend night, accompanying their parents while shopping. Usually found in packs of 2 to 5 with one or two of the younger stuck drooling in the shopping cart while grabbing at items within their reach. 2 to 3 of the older ones will run amok with the parents in total ignorance of the damage being created. They cross all racial lines. The default clothing is dirty sleepwear or dirty clothing which they wore all day along with always being underdressed for cold weather- lacking coats, gloves, hats. Usually the parents with the children are a mother and aunt or mother and newest boyfriend (usually father to only the youngest child- the others being spread among two or more fathers.) They bend their parent's pathetic willpower to get cheap toys, sugary candy, or sugary drink bottles (ones with the tear off tops) or all three. This might even be their dinner since the family arrived after the in-store McDonald’s closed. In the case of the toys, the boxes are stripped off before the child’s back into the family mini-van which teaches the children the lesson of "instant gratification".

These children can also be classified as “future workers of Wal-Mart” since their parent’s failure to provide a structured family environment will generate employees who believe that working for Wal-Mart is a life goal and making $10/hour for 10 years is a good career.
John thought that he would be able to shop quickly by going to Wal-mart at 11:45pm Tuesday night but then found himself at the checkout behind a 300lb Tweety Bird shirt wearing Walmart Creature and her five Walmart Children.

John waited in line while the youngest in the cart gummed on a box of kitchen scouring pads, another girl pulled every product from the lowest display pegs and threw them on the floor, two boys fought using toy swords already ripped from the packages, the oldest girl retreived a gallon of the cheapest favored "drink" from the cooler as the mother yelled to the children's aunt in the cigarette checkout line to "Get me a carton of Basic's and a couple of packs of Marlboros for him to have when he gets home!"

John sighed and thought to himself "Our country is doomed." as he waited for the trainwreck of a family to check out.
Walmart Children by econobiker October 28, 2009
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Boneless children 

Don't get your boneless children up my nose.

The Timeless Children 

The Final Episode of Season 12 of Modern Doctor Who. This Episode is a perfect representation of taking something good and then taking a massive shit all over it
A Fake Doctor Who Fan: Wow, the Timeless Children was an amazing episode!
A Real Doctor Who Fan: No, it destroyed the show's cannon and everything good about the Doctor's character
A Fake Doctor Who Fan: You just saying that because the main character isn't a white male scum bag anymore, YOU SEXIST!

Atheist Children Get Presents Day

Christmas; Hanukkah.

A winter celebration for non-believers where you gather together with friends and family and score some good loot off your parents.
I asked my mom to get me a new ipod for Atheist Children Get Presents Day.

You want to come over for Atheist Children Get Presents Day dinner? We're lighting the hanukkah bush!

Annoying children 

Little fuckers who spend every minute of their childhood outside of their home generally being loud, annoying and disrespectful to everybody else in the neighborhood because their parents are either:

A - Too lazy to teach the little wankers respect
or
B - Too busy believing their children are perfect little angels who never bother anyone and are loved by all, unaware of the fact that everybody within 2 miles hates the little fucks and wishes that they would get hit by a car and bring peace to the area.

Kid 1: OMG let's ride a bike around in a circle 2583 times and scream at the top of our voices!

Kid 2: AAAHHHHAQHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA

Kid 3: WOOO YEAH OMGWTFLOL

Kid 1: AHHHAHDHFHFHSDH

Somebody who is civil enough to not disturb everything within a 2 miles radius:

I wish I could just go outside and tell them annoying children to shut their fucking mouths, but if I did everybody would be all like 'OMG HOW MEAN THEY'RE JUST KIDS HAVING FUN WAH WAH WAH, despite the fact that they feel exactly the same as me.

Pied Piper Children's Theatre 

A children's theatre located in Upper Manhattan. It has enjoyed a rich thirteen-year history of plays and musicals performed (and occasionally written) by different children, teenagers, and adults residing in the tri-state area. It is run by the man of "all generosity and kindness", the artistic and executive director, Reinaldo Martinez Cubero (going under the moniker "Rey-Rey"). The face of the theatre has undergone several cosmetic changes in its short history, going from a small scale lighting board and a practically barren stage to a highly developed lighting and sound system and a colorfully designed set. This institution is always striving for a notable status and succeeding at times by getting mentions in publications such as New York magazine and the NY1 News Channel. DVDs of past performances at the theatre are available for standard rates of twenty dollars and recorded with only the finest of organic potatoes. (In this writer's opinion, the VHS tapes they used to sell were a bit more substantial. Go figure.)
Pied Piper Children's Theatre: To explore, to create, to communicate. Since 1999

Defecting The Children 

used after one has had a skateboard, bicycle or rail smash into ones testicals, causing great amounts of pain, in some cases vomiting and even "broken balls disorder"
"Mark really Defected his children on that missed double peg"
"My brother defected the children after he tried a gardflip over a rail we spent 4 fucking hours in the hostipal"