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Jesus

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Greek name for a guy who was killed by the Romans, but, unlike all the others in such situation, thought he was doing mankind a favour (or so says modern paedophilic priests).

His biography is featured in the Bible, the best-selling book of all time, bought specially by people who couldn't read, and, when written only in Latin, by people who didn't speak Latin.

Often used as a curse word in silly situations.
"Jesus, what the hell is that?!"
by Fosterpython January 8, 2009
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A large or massive quantity of something (see "for days," but on an infinitely more epic scale).

Originally coined by Vivica A. Fox on Rupaul's Drag Race (S8 E7) when referring to contestant Naomi Small's padding.
Vivica A. Fox: "Now. That runway? She was padded for Jesus! Gorgeous!"
by beautyfacerealness May 14, 2016
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jesus bagel

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A representation of Jesus, chewed by one person, then passed on to the next, in a spreading of the holy spirit.
Become a Christian, eat a Jesus Bagel:

non-christian1: I need Jesus, lets eat this bagel (jesus) Wow, Jesus tastes good. Here, have some Jesus. *spits it out and passes it to next person*
non-christian2: wow, Jesus does taste good. Partake my brother, partake. *spits it out and passes it to next person*
by Jayne the2nd June 23, 2006
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Jesus chord

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What's the fingering for the Jesus chord on this guitar?
by pentozali August 18, 2010
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Jesus balls

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Two spheres with a close gap between them, mounted at the base of the tower of a broadcast AM transmitter.

One ball is connected to the tower, the other one to earth ground.
In case of lighting, an electrical arc forms across the gap, routing the lightning to earth and saving the transmitter equipment.
Called "Jesus Balls" because if you touch them "you see Jesus" (i.e.: you can die).
If you don't want to see Jesus today, stay away from the "Jesus balls" over there.
by DavideAndrea August 1, 2013
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Jesus

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A fictional character like bugs bunny or Anne Frank who is depicted in th bible, the largest selling fictional book on the face of earth. Jesus is said to have been a jew, but that can't be true because Jews are fake just like him.
Crazy Christian: JESUS IS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR, you owe him your life.
Sane People: Crazy Bitch
by Folger August 12, 2014
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