Asians taking a lie detector test

POV:
ur asian taking a lie detector test
Son: "Hey dad, I took a lie detector test today."
Dad: "Oh ok, what score you get?"
Son: "Uh...it's a lie detector test, dad. There's no score, you either pass or fail."
Dad: "Okay, so did you pass or no?"
Son: "Well, you didn't want me to tell them how you raped my sister, right?"
Dad: "Shhh! Quiet! Someone could here you!"
Son: "Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, I lied about that, so you wouldn't get in trouble."
Dad: "Ok, good boy."
Son: "But the thing is... they detected that I had lied."
Dad: "WHAT??? FBI GUNNA SHOW UP AT DA FRONT DOR ANY MINUT NOW! STOOBID!"

Son: "No dad, they won't. I killed them all before they could call the cops."
Dad: *stares at son for a while* "Okay, good boy. You want some ice cream?"
Son: "Uh....Sure, but that's not all."
Dad: "Oh my god. What now, son? Hah?"
Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."

Dude 1: Did you hear about those asians taking a lie detector test?
Dude 2: Yeah, I haven't seen 'em since, do you know where they are?
Dude 1: No...

by PORGSSSS November 28, 2023

Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2

Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
Dad: *pulls off shoe and throws it at son*
Son: "Ow! Dad, don't you want this? This way no one will kn-"

Dad: *pulls out glock 19 and starts firing at son*
Son: *barely dodges bullets* "Dad, stop!"
Dad: "You fail test! You stoobid! You not my son!" *pulls out AK-102*
Son: *gets hit in leg* "Ow! Dad, you have to stop!"
Dad: *ignores son* *dismembers son with five shells from a Challenger 2*
Son: *groans in agony*
Dad: *tases what's left of son's body *
Son: *attempts to scream in agony, but instead blood comes out of his mouth*
Dad: "You not my son! Son no fail test!" *lifts off in a A-10 Warthog armed with the Gauzer machine gun*
Son: "Please dad.....please..."
Dad: *crashes plane into son, ejecting himself 30 inches from the ground*
Son: .
Dad: *raids a U.S. Army bunker and steals 10 nukes*
Dad: *nukes house with son in it, then nukes the whole country just for good measure*
Dad: *evades paparazzi and kills families to live in their houses for 4 decades*
Dad: *becomes president, nukes the world then uses mods to terraform Mars*
Dad: *rapes your mom 10 times to repopulate the human race*
Dad: *eventually dies at age 142, wearing a suit with a red rose in his lapel and sunglasses*

No wonder we never saw that kid again.... Holy shit!

And that's why you've never heard of: Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2

by PORGSSSS November 28, 2023

My problem with determinism

Is how it's supposed existence is demonstrated, right? They usually use this binary prompt-response scenario. Like "Think of a city. Now did you pick the the specific city or was it random?" And I think that's the wrong way to conceptualize it.

Hym "So, my problem with determinism (at least in this example of determinism) is that although I don't choose the specific city, I still activate the 'mode' that searches for city and I can choose not to do it and prevent a city from coming to mind OR I can misfire. It's like a hat with with slips of paper in it and, on the slips of paper, are the names of cities. Now, you can prompt me to think of 'city.' I can choose to reach into the hat. And only then do I get a random city. But what I DON'T get is 'Nissan' or 'helicopter' or 'banana' or 'dog.' I activate the mode that searches for city and I reach into the hat. See, as I have it conceptualized, thought exists in this nebulous, un-articulated format. So, to get language I need to activate some kind of process. And prompt response ISN'T THE SAME as what I'm doing when I'm monologing. I'm running that nebulous, un-articulated thought-matter through a lexicon that corresponds with my native language. But I am that which activates modes. I can can turn it on or off like a switch. It can also misfire while I'm not paying attention. So, yeah... I think it's a failure to properly conceptualize and a failure to compartmentalize."

by Hym Iam December 2, 2023

Legal system determined mental incompetence

Nonono I drew the parallel but that isn't the fundamental claim

Hym "It's that he has a level of Legal system determined mental incompetence that prevents him from truly consent. It's fucking ridiculous."

by Hym Iam April 3, 2024

that's some Detroit shit

Describing a building fire in which the structure is entirely engulfed in flames, making it an absolute fucking job.

Lmao I showed Alexandra the video from the auto body shop & tow truck fire and she goes “ that's some Detroit shit

by anonymous May 18, 2024

Hard Work and Determination

I mean, it was literally the thing I said and not that. It was literally you being signed off on by a more successful person, Chris!

Hym "Hard work and determination had nothing to do with it. You were 1 of 3 horde wielding tests mean to gauge both my retention and my ability to drive engagement in the absence of analytics and demonstrate to the audience that the thing I'm talking about is on some level occurring. Louis Michael, Chris!? Louis Michael!? What kind of shit is that!? You were elevated by the greatest mind who has ever lived and that is the thanks I get?"

by Hym Iam July 3, 2024

Somalian Smoke Detector

When you exhale smoke from a vape/cigarette into another persons asshole.

Me and Victor did the Somalian Smoke Detector.

by Willsmithspapa420 October 3, 2024