by Smithy12345 July 15, 2016
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Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
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Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
by mrs tosser October 7, 2025
Get the a nigel danger wank.. mug.by PotsNPan July 16, 2021
Get the Wanking the dog mug.The act of viciously masturbating fully naked for over 5 minutes. Throughout the process the subject uses his hand to stroke his penis to near ejaculation, then the subject relaxes for a bit. Then the subject continued to slightly stroke his penis and then he uses a sex toy (store bought or hand made) and places it in a position where it won't move around a lot and the subject viciously fucks the sex toy until near ejaculation. Then the subject is free to experiment with unusual kinds of sexual acts (ex: finger in the bum, other masturbation teqniques, other kinky fetishs). Then once the subject is satisfied withhimself and ready to ejaculate, he must use up the rest of the lube on his penis and hands, and then it is time for the last hurrah. The subject firmly grasps his penis and then he strokes it much faster and harder and it should give the individual a sensation of both mild pain and crazy erotic pleasure. The individual moans to make the procedure much more impactful and when he reaches the climax, the procedure is complete.
Carl: bro I just haven't jacked off at all recently. I'm just not into it anymore
Eddie: last night I had a CRAZY WANK and I will tell you, I changed my life!
Eddie: last night I had a CRAZY WANK and I will tell you, I changed my life!
by Derkadurr August 5, 2017
Get the Crazy Wank mug.Guy 1: How you doing man?
Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.
Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.
Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.
Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.
Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.
Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.
by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024
Get the Schizo-Wank mug.When you tactically bat one out so that you'll last longer should you be lucky enough to get some action later on.
Josephina: Wow, honey! You lasted much longer than your standard 45 seconds tonight.
Esteban: Yes, dear. I got my wank cycles right today in the hope of having prolonged sexual intercourse with you this evening. Thanks for noticing. Two minutes is a new record.
Esteban: Yes, dear. I got my wank cycles right today in the hope of having prolonged sexual intercourse with you this evening. Thanks for noticing. Two minutes is a new record.
by Handsome_Cat April 19, 2022
Get the wank cycles mug.When you have a friend named "Wanker" and he has a habit of not being around for a period of time. Then out of the blue he just pops up with a wild entrance and suddenly it's a 3 day party. A party you never hate or have a bad time with.
"I planned to get a lot of things done around the house today but all of a sudden I got wanked!"
"I didn't plan on getting "wanked" this past Friday, but 3 days straight later suddenly it was Tuesday"
"I didn't plan on getting "wanked" this past Friday, but 3 days straight later suddenly it was Tuesday"
by anonymous June 29, 2024
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