callin’offscopy

A totally valid reason for not coming to work. Meant to resemble a colonoscopy.

Wes “couldn’t” make it in today. He has an emergency callin’offscopy scheduled.

by Zealotte April 20, 2024

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Kylian Offsidebappe

Offside Merchant. Joined Real Madrid only to ruin the team by interrupting his teammates. Complains when his teammates don't feed him easy tap-ins. Get's owned by offside traps and ghosted his first El Clasico

Dumbass Turtle Fan: "Ummm, Mbappe owns Varca"🤓🤓🤓🤓
Normal person: "LMFAOOOO, Kylian Offsidebappe lost El Clasico and got caught offside everytime"

by PenaldoPessiDog November 9, 2024

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bourbon offsetting

enduring a hangover

Carbon offsetting is one thing with that headaches of jetlag. However, since last night I've gotten to deal with bourbon offsetting which is a lot more horrible!

by 🅰️ December 5, 2025

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Theory of Offsetting Mistakes

This theory recognizes that humans are not perfect and that for every mistake in a model or schedule
there will be another "mistake" in somewhat equal scope to offset each other, hence rendering the model or budget still valid.
The idea behind is that things will anyway fall the way they fall and we cannot control for that.
The optimistic view is that this theory rejects Murphy's Law, the negligent take on it is the "Trust me, it will be OK" approach to life.
Decide where you want to be.

Accountant 1: oh, crap... we forgot to add $1 million in income from product X sales to the budget
Accountant 2: oh, fudge... product Y's revenue is inflated by $980K...oh wait... based on the Theory of Offsetting Mistakes all is well, the numbers we gave the CEO are still valid, yay.

Girl: oh, crap... your condom broke
Dude: oh, fudge... you miscounted your days, your period is due today at 8pm.... you are not pregnant, yay.

by Tim E Wastin August 26, 2013

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