Human Resources

The sort of people who, when considering CVs of job applicants, remove from the list people who are better than them, just to protect their jobs. Devious evil scum, who are in personnel or human resources because they have fucked up every other job, fucked the General Manager or both.

The sort of people who, when considering job applicants to run post-invasion Iraq, would consider Saddam Hussien, Fidel Castro or Robert Mugabe, as a) They all hold Doctorates. b) "Have relevant experience and contacts." c) Have done the job before.

by gremlin February 22, 2005

human tampon

When a person (usually a man) soaks up a womans emotional bad day by listening to her problems.

After listening to my girlfriend bitch about her problems all afternoon I felt like a human tampon.

by S. S. D. December 12, 2007

Human Instrumentality

1. The process which occurs when Humanity reaches it's evolutionary peak, and evolves back into a primordial ooze, starting the evolutionary process all over again.

2. An evolutionary Theory in which the entire world is the product of the imagination of a boy who does not realize what he really is.

3. The end of the world.

4. To reduce humanity and civilization to a single hive mentality, by stripping them of their individualities and combining all hearts, souls and minds into one coherent existence.

The instigation of Human Instrumentality would bring about peace and harmony, but it would make us lose everything that makes us unique. But we would all agree and be happy.

by Gunslave May 3, 2003

Human Nugget

A human being without any arms and legs.

-Look at the that guy without arms and legs over there!

-Oh, you mean the human nugget?

by asiatdemokrat October 18, 2018

Human mattress

someone who sleeps around

a prostitute is a human mattress

by sososweet November 15, 2010

Human

A bipedal mammal that is so self-loathing that it mocks itself in every urban dictionary definition/synonym, including this one, but all-in-all is not actually that bad.

Humans are morons

by Cadaei June 16, 2011

human menorah

8 guys running a train on a chick.

yoor girl went to israel and received a human menorah

by george spot December 15, 2007