Involuntary Goatee

When a guy slips shaving his face and his only options are to shave it all or shave a goatee and he ops for the latter.

Friend: Haha, Just because you grow a goatee doesn't mean you'll gain any of Chuck Norris's other powers.

Shaving Victim: Nah, man, this is an Involuntary Goatee. I slipped shavin and it was between this and lookin like a twelve year old.

Friend: Oh, shit, I'm sorry man. Maybe getting carded to buy cigs will motivate you to find a good barber shop.

by Pringlescan July 24, 2009

ed's goatee

The manliest of all facial hair. Ed's goatee is everything that is wanted or desired by women. Other men wish they could have Ed's goatee. Chuck Norris is only CHuck Norris, because he started with Ed's goatee.

Jeez, I can't get women to talk to me...I wish I could grow Ed's goatee.

by Richard Potato September 2, 2014

The Rule of Goats

The Rule of Goats says that self-awareness or irony doesn't change public perception. If you fuck a goat, even if you say it's for the lulz or to prove a larger point, you're still a goat-fucker.

The saying was coined by criminal defense attorney Ken White of the Popehat Report. It's loosely connected to an Irish Pub joke about an old man who has multiple accomplishments but also once fucked a goat. In the end, nobody recognizes him for his achievements and instead only knows him as the goat-fucker.

Defendant: "I was only trolling when I said all those awful things."
Ken White: "The Rule of Goats applies."

by NoneCanHandle November 7, 2021

goatsesque

Something that makes you think of the "goatse man" - an item or image of a hole with hands at either side, being stretched wide open. Coined by "Canis" at Ars Technica

"The Mickey clock was even more goatsesque."

by FXWizard December 21, 2009

mole goatee

A mole goatee occurs is a condition that develops when a person with a hairy mole doesn't attempt to cut the hair, aside from manicuring it to be more like a traditional chin goatee. Furthermore, many times the molehair appear to resemble pubes.

"Dude, the attendant at the corner jiffy mart had an insane mole goatee going on. The hair was about an inch long and nearly hid his mole. I wanted to grab him by it and yell "What in the fuck are you doing man? Shave that shit, no one wants to see that"".

by rishnipishni January 14, 2007

goats

Webcomic drawn by Jonathan Rosenberg. Contains only one actual goat, though other characters are aliens, a space mummy, a satanic chicken, and a fish that lives in a glass of beer. Located at www.goats.com.

Dammit, I go on vacation for a week and I've missed like 500,000 installments of Goats.

by junkyard prince October 18, 2003

goats

1. the most attractive type girls on the face of the earth.
2. the best animal ever alive.
3. goats, sheep, lambs, and ramz rule the earth.

abbie and morgan are so beautious, they must be goats.

by goatsduh April 23, 2007