Big Telly Wank

The act of cranking one out involving the use of the largest screen in the house (usually the TV in the living room) to watch pornography.

I'm sick of squinting at my phone screen in the toilet while the missus is home. I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to crack open a can, get pornhub up on the 60" in the living room and have a nice big telly wank.

by sproates April 29, 2021

wank wipe

A name of a tissue you use to wipe away your sperm

After I finished masturbating I used a wank wipe to clean up me genital area

by Upstairsdragon December 19, 2013

Gigolo wank

The act of masturbating during working hours or in the workplace, and hence being paid while completing the duty.

The hot intern bent over to pick up some papers earlier. It gave me a massive erection so I had to sneak off for a gigolo wank to correct myself.

by Bruce Foreskin August 09, 2013

big telly pokey bum wank

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating / jerking off, to increase pleasure while watching pornography or sexually stimulating broadcast material to enhance the experience, either on television or vvia internet streaming on computer, smartphone or tablet.

He was so aroused by the two lesbians performing cullingus on each other on late-night television, he couldn't resist giving himself a big telly pokey bum wank.

by Mackem Beefy September 20, 2021

Wank Jam

The inevitable product of a 5 knuckle shuffle.

Delicious jam or preservative made with the bi-product of spanking the monkey

"Stroked the salami last night and got wank jam everywhere"

"Do we have anything to put on toast?"
"Just a bit of wank jam left in the cupboard."

"Spilled so much wank jam In my gfs mouth she went full angry on me!"

by Kik455 April 08, 2022

Tribunal Wank

When three guys stand in the formation of a triangle and each put one of there hands left and the other to the right, and then suddenly everyone there is getting a double handjob

Nice soccer match guys, let’s go home and have a Tribunal Wank!

by Calabina October 27, 2020

Munchkin wank

A phrased used to insult a young boy that hasn't reached puberty yet.

Boy - i can do whatever i like you can't stop me!
Older person- You wanna bet you munchkin wank.

by jackametii1234 February 22, 2010