horizontalitis

N. - the inclination to fill up (‘inflame’) any flat, open surface; ‘clutterize’, or, the desire to lay down no matter the circumstances.

Afflicted with horizontalitis, she was headed for an appearance on Hoarders, as she could not keep any area of her home free of clutter.

He suffered from horizontalitis and took the phrase “laying down on the job” to a whole new level.

by CramApple1999 March 30, 2023

Horizontal hunky funky

a humorous way to describe two lovers are having sex, especially if you walk in on the action

A former fbi agent once told a college class about walking in on two lovers doing the horizontal hunky funky

by strappling May 30, 2022

Horizontal Bigfoot

A Norwegian sex act where you get down on all fours and plug beard hairs.

That streamer let me stay in his spare room and gave me a Horizontal Bigfoot last week.

by Not Eethan February 06, 2024

Horizontal Tophat

When you fuck a girl through a top hat that's full of pigeon shit and peanut butter with her legs doing a split with white bread slices with a hole in a middle.

"I got aids"
"It's all that horizontal tophat bruh"

by Ittytittyman April 27, 2022

horizontal top hat

A sexually move for hot ass citizens that need a break from calling normal sex "normal"...

"So hey we should to horizontal top hat"
"sounds awesome when you put it that way"

by Dawnrose February 18, 2018

the horizontal poker

Mean , Sex . Good , dirty, hot , wild sex! lol

Karita why was you over bobby's house ? , did y'all you know?

No , Rick we didn't do the horizontal poker !

by Wizdee April 19, 2011

horizontal fruit-basket

A sex act. Performed by wrapping your penis in a banana peel and squeezing the juice of an orange, a lime, and a grapefruit on top. Your partner then gives you head as you lay sideways on a flat surface, ideally with the curviture of your penis lining up with their throat.

"My lady wanted something tropical, so I gave her a horizontal fruit-basket"

"How thoughtful!"

by Sassy yet Classy April 17, 2016