Mach Jesus 

Something traveling above a "reasonable speed"

My and my buddy went on a beer run last night driving at Mach Jesus in his 2nd gen dodge

Mach Jesus by SomeRedneck69 June 10, 2021

Cheeto Jesus 

Nickname for President Trump

So glad Cheeto Jesus keeps MAGA! *facepalm*

Cheeto Jesus by Toprymin February 8, 2017

Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone 

The act of clinging to a toilet basin throwing up violently after a heavy night of binge drinking.

So named after the fashion of sticking your head into the bowl and shouting the name of our Lord between spasms.

BLEURGH!!! Oh Jesus, BLEEEHHRRRK!!! Oh Lord, BLOOOORGH!!!! Aw Christ, HUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRGH!!!!! etc

Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone by ..WiL May 24, 2005

In Jesus name no more cap 

‘To swear on Jesus’ name for no more lying.’

Kanye has created arguably the best tweet of all time.

KIM. IN JESUS NAME NO MORE CAP.

In Jesus name no more cap by applestrawberry21 July 22, 2020

You Need Jesus 

Phrase used to convey the idea that a person's words or actions are of questionable morality or virtue.

Dude: Man, I should SO kill that hooker right now.
Dude2: You need Jesus.

You Need Jesus by Whistledink April 7, 2010

Zabdiel De Jesus 

Zabdiel De Jesus is just perfection. He was born on December 13, 1997, in Puerto Rico and is currently 21 years old. He participated in a reality TV show called La Banda when he was 17 years old. Eventually, he won and is now part of a latin boyband called CNCO along with bandmates, Christopher Velez, Richard Camacho, Joel Pimentel, and Erick Brian Colon. He will steal your heart by his looks, his personality, and especially his talented singing and dancing. Even though he has trouble speaking in English, his accent is just everythingggg and it sooo cute when he talks in English. In conclusion, Zabdiel De Jesus is just a beautiful, talented, and amazing human being living in this world.

Omg is that Zabdiel De Jesus ?!?! He so cute omgggg! 🙈

Zabdiel De Jesus by okgooffiguess May 28, 2019

german jesus

Popular nickname for German NBA player Dirk Nowitzki.

NBA champion (2011)
NBA Finals MVP (2011)
NBA Most Valuable Player (2007)
13× NBA All-Star (2002–2012, 2014–2015)
4× All-NBA First Team (2005–2007, 2009)
5× All-NBA Second Team (2002, 2003, 2008, 2010, 2011)
3× All-NBA Third Team (2001, 2004, 2012)
50–40–90 club (2007)
NBA Three-Point Shootout champion (2006)
NBA Shooting Stars champion (2010)
NBA Teammate of the Year (2017)
BBL Most Valuable Player (1999)
FIBA World Cup MVP (2002)
FIBA EuroBasket MVP (2005)
3× FIBA EuroBasket Top Scorer (2001, 2005, 2007)
6× Euroscar Player of the Year (2002–2006, 2011)
2× FIBA Europe Men's Player of the Year (2005, 2011)
Mister Europa Player of the Year (2005)
Silbernes Lorbeerblatt (2011)
German Sports Personality of the Year (2011)

Person 1: Look, it's german jesus!

Person 2: What? Jesus wasn't german?

Person 1: Ugh, it's Dirk Nowitzki, also known as German Jesus

german jesus by FreudianNoodle January 21, 2018