The Rule of Goats 

The Rule of Goats says that self-awareness or irony doesn't change public perception. If you fuck a goat, even if you say it's for the lulz or to prove a larger point, you're still a goat-fucker.

The saying was coined by criminal defense attorney Ken White of the Popehat Report. It's loosely connected to an Irish Pub joke about an old man who has multiple accomplishments but also once fucked a goat. In the end, nobody recognizes him for his achievements and instead only knows him as the goat-fucker.

Defendant: "I was only trolling when I said all those awful things."
Ken White: "The Rule of Goats applies."

The Rule of Goats by NoneCanHandle November 7, 2021

The Two Song Rule 

Generally applied at parties to prevent guests from putting on a shit album and everyone having to listen to it in its entirety. Anyone may put songs on and after two songs anyone may change the music. The Credence Clearwater Revival rule is the only exemption to the two song rule. Once a CCR album is started it must be listened to until it is finished or until the person who put it on wants to change it.

Guest 1: "I'm going to put some music on"
Guest 2: "yeah well don't put shit on, and if you do the two song rule applies"

Guest 1: "Hey I'm sick of this CCR I'm putting something else on"
Guest 2: "Like fuck you are, CCR rule applies"

The Two Song Rule by JackTwo May 31, 2010

inverse 5-second rule 

When you pick up something interesting on the ground and you hold it for less than 5 seconds, it is ok to put it back on the ground.

jim: dude didn't you pick that off the ground?
tom: ya.
jim: then why are you putting it back on the ground? you should just put it in the trash.
tom: nah dude. inverse 5-second rule.

inverse 5-second rule by dtix July 30, 2010

One-Floor rule 

The annoying rule applying to Cougar Village, an on-campus student housing facility at the University of Houston, that says you can only use your Cougar ID to go to ONE FLOOR of the building, the floor you live on, and no other floor.

The elevators have magnetic strips where you have to swipe your ID in order to use the elevator. Sort of an overly-bureacratic security measure type thing.

(Two people get into an evelator at Cougar Village and one guy swipes his card to go the third floor.)

Guy 2: Hey man can you hit 6 for me?

Guy 1: One-floor rule bra, sorry. I live on 3.

Guy 2: Man, fuck that.

One-Floor rule by FuctButSects October 24, 2010

five seconds rule of the public toilet 

A rule apply for taking a shat in public toilet, stating that after you saw someone exited a public toilet, you can't enter and seat within 5 seconds, otherwise you will still feel the creepy warmth as if you are placing your ass upon another unidentified, disgusting ass that just pooped

Pete: Oh man I was about to shit my pants so I ignored the five seconds rule of the public toilet
Pete's boyfriend: We are not going to do anal for 5 months because of that

five seconds rule of the public toilet by cinamon_muff August 12, 2016

one minute rule

When a person is Snapchatting either a guy or girl they like, they must wait at least one minute to open the Snapchat from the person they’re talking to to avoid seeming like they’re extremely into them or almost creepy.

“Oh my god, I opened Xander’s Snapchat like two seconds after he sent it. He’s going to think I’m obsessed with him.”

“You should’ve used the one minute rule Hannah.”

one minute rule by hbot47 November 8, 2019

Everybody Wants To Rule the World 

Welcome to your life
There's no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you acting on your best behavior
Turn your back on Mother Nature
Everybody wants to rule the world

It's my own design
It's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most

Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world

There's a room where the light won't find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I'll be right behind you
So glad we've almost made it
So sad they had to fade it
Everybody wants to rule the world

I can't stand this indecision
Married with a lack of vision
Everybody wants to rule the world
Say that you'll never never never never need it
One headline why believe it?
Everybody wants to rule the world

All for freedom and for pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world

Everybody Wants To Rule the World by Death Menace February 19, 2023