Wank

when a british person masterbates they call it a wank

"Alright im going to have a wank"

by bigfatwank July 17, 2022

Midnight Wank

The act of masturbating until tomorrow (the upcoming date). Mostly done at midnight or close to 12AM

Alex: Dude I have just done the best midnight wank ever!
Peter: Why are you telling this to me? What even is a midnight wank?
Alex: Nvm. Wrong chat bro.

by Djukster December 30, 2019

Crazy Wank

The act of viciously masturbating fully naked for over 5 minutes. Throughout the process the subject uses his hand to stroke his penis to near ejaculation, then the subject relaxes for a bit. Then the subject continued to slightly stroke his penis and then he uses a sex toy (store bought or hand made) and places it in a position where it won't move around a lot and the subject viciously fucks the sex toy until near ejaculation. Then the subject is free to experiment with unusual kinds of sexual acts (ex: finger in the bum, other masturbation teqniques, other kinky fetishs). Then once the subject is satisfied withhimself and ready to ejaculate, he must use up the rest of the lube on his penis and hands, and then it is time for the last hurrah. The subject firmly grasps his penis and then he strokes it much faster and harder and it should give the individual a sensation of both mild pain and crazy erotic pleasure. The individual moans to make the procedure much more impactful and when he reaches the climax, the procedure is complete.

Carl: bro I just haven't jacked off at all recently. I'm just not into it anymore

Eddie: last night I had a CRAZY WANK and I will tell you, I changed my life!

by Derkadurr August 5, 2017

Wank Ballad

A song which a man/woman choose's to ride to O-train too in an orgy for one.

"Dude what's your wank ballad?"

"Bro, for me its got to be Jitterbug by Wham! Just gets me there."

by HammerSmashElmo September 4, 2018

rank wank

wanking to material you would usually find to be 'rank', or disgusting, but still managing to finish

Friend 1: I watched a porno last night where a pregnant chick was getting fucked anally against a brick wall, and then she went into labour.
Friend 2: Wow, that sounds disgusting.
Friend 1: Yeah, it was a pretty rank wank.

by kingbiscuit December 25, 2012

Getting "Wanked"

When you have a friend named "Wanker" and he has a habit of not being around for a period of time. Then out of the blue he just pops up with a wild entrance and suddenly it's a 3 day party. A party you never hate or have a bad time with.

"I planned to get a lot of things done around the house today but all of a sudden I got wanked!"

"I didn't plan on getting "wanked" this past Friday, but 3 days straight later suddenly it was Tuesday"

by anonymous June 29, 2024

wank cycles

When you tactically bat one out so that you'll last longer should you be lucky enough to get some action later on.

Josephina: Wow, honey! You lasted much longer than your standard 45 seconds tonight.

Esteban: Yes, dear. I got my wank cycles right today in the hope of having prolonged sexual intercourse with you this evening. Thanks for noticing. Two minutes is a new record.

by Handsome_Cat April 19, 2022