turkey taint

A cousin to the “turkey neck,” this is an even sadder part of aging in which a person’s taint sags and just hangs there like meat curtains.
Tara: I think I might go down on that old guy later and give him a “rusty trombone.”
Jennifer: Okay, but just remember— don’t choke or suffocate on his turkey taint!
by Epididymitis March 04, 2019
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tainted surface

The act of rubbing another persons Microsoft Surface tablet on your taint and/or genitalia, usually as a retaliatory joke but sometimes for sexual pleasure. The tablet owners name is usually placed in the middle of the statement.
Man, I just tainted Sean's surface..... At first it was funny, but then it felt good and I couldn't stop myself. Tainted Surface
by Notyouraveragemegatron May 23, 2014
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Taint-a-licious

The "pleasure" produced by gently stroking the soft supple skin between the anus and the genitals.
Patty that thing you were going around my back side last night was "Taint-a-licious".
by kerb-stirer August 08, 2014
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taint pool

The small pool of sweat that builds up within the taint.
It's so hot my balls are swimming in a taint pool
by ryelou October 05, 2007
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taint complaint

when your taint smells so foul that someone makes a formal complaint to the local authorities.
Man, Martin's taint smelled so bad that Jenny filed a taint complaint to the police department. I think he is serving 5 to 10!
by jeeeeeahhhh July 17, 2009
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taint second

an amount of time that is as long as it needs to be but as short as it can be.
Mary, can you give me a taint second?!
by jazzlover October 19, 2014
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rocky taint

Any guy who has ingrown hairs (Rocks) sprouting up in his taint
Billy Case bent over and I saw not only his Double Brown Banana Slices, but I also noticed he had a little bit of a rocky taint as well.
by mcmorriswithcheese January 04, 2008
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