God Church

When Jake Paul tries to describe his merch sales (that no one cares about) but cant think of any cool words so he merges two words together hence the idiotic word god church

Usually describes how his merch sales r going. another way of saying

'hey I i can't sell shit,BUY MY SHIT'

-Jake Paul in a nutshell-

I dropped up some new merch and it's selling like a (fucking) GOD CHURCH

-Leafyishere

-Keemstar

-Jake Paul

-Pewdiepie

-Ricegum

by Ketchup_faggotmp4 June 12, 2017

Churchable

some thing you can do or say in church with out offending others

four guys are in a church
James: hey guys I have a joke ....
Ian: wait, is it churchable?

by Quack Quack X18 January 17, 2007

church-goer

A person who goes to church regularly. The usage is often by people who want to cast a disparaging remark about people who attend church. Usage can be positive by rural people in the midwest.

If is funny how many church-goers one sees in the bars.

by Randy Bonjour June 19, 2006

Church video

When you take a video of yourself masturbating and send it to someone, sometimes in a restroom at a church.

Jenna: I heard you made a church video for John is it true??
Christina: No! I did it in my bathroom at home!
Jenna: That's still a church video!

by Doctor Afterman February 21, 2013

Church Monkey

Someone who is not focused when they should be, very scatter brained when they should be cool calm and collected.

Imagine bringing a monkey to church.

George drove from dealership to dealership like an excited little church monkey, instead of taking time to update his notes.

by NLMRSD September 20, 2013

Farlan Church

He deserves the title "Humanities sexiest" or at least he did before he was viciously nommed in half by a titan *spoiler whoops*. His hair probabley added about 3 inches to his original height; he may just be a torso and a head, but at least he has his majestic-ass hair.

When booty calls, I shit you not, Farlan Church will be on the scene. *Internal screaming*

by TheMainCinnamonRoll July 6, 2016

poppy.church

Poppy's Cult website that you should really join because it's "Not a cult". It's great and wonderful and addictive and I-

Person 1:Hey
Person 2:Hi
Person 1:Have you been on poppy.church?
Person 2:No! She is creepy and She makes shitty music and I-
*Person 1 makes a sacrifice for Poppy using Person 2*
Person 1:I am not in a cult....

by Poppyseed #336 March 28, 2019