Republican toilet paper

The U.S. Constitution

Politicians such as Reagan, Bush41,Bush43,Ashcroft etc. seem to think the U.S. Constitution is just Republican toilet paper. They have used the war on drugs and the war on terror as an excuse to take away basic basic constitutional rights. Some examples include the Patriot Act, warrantless wire taps, property seizures etc.

by Mr.Juan-derful August 28, 2010

toilet seat

what according to women should be down all the time, like someone is lifting it up for men when they have to take a piss.

I have to lift the fucking toilet seat myself

by Slunjan August 13, 2008

toilet gold

Corn in your turds down in the toilet

I took a big dump. I looked into the toilet and thought there was gold in them logs. Then I remembered it was just toilet gold.

by Cpt Norm February 23, 2009

toilet surfing

Toilet surfing is what happens when you go to sit on a toilet seat that has loosened up over time. As you place all of your weight on it the seat slips to the side giving you an unexpected "ride". You must surf this ride or else land on the floor!

One guy to another on his way out of the public bathroom:
"Duuuude, don't use the 4th stall. I almost threw my back out doing some toilet surfing!"

by acmjojo August 12, 2013

Toilet Zombie

What you become when you have sat on the toilet so long that your leg falls asleep, causing you to drag your leg behind you until it wakes up.

Don't eat that burrito, man. I had one and it turned me into a Toilet Zombie.

by Night of the Living Deuce April 28, 2014

toilet guppies

When you jack off into the toilet and the semen floats around like little fish.

I felt really good after jacking off, but felt bad to flush the toilet guppies after.

by blue dog March 11, 2015

Toilet Wrinkles

The wrinkles that form in one's pant legs from being pushed down for extended periods of time when sitting on the toilet.

* at John's party *
John: "Someone spoiled the candle influenced aromas of my bathroom and didn't use the fan. Was it you Jimmy?"
Jimmy: * with toilet wrinkles in his pants * "I was just checking my teeth."
John: "It was you Jimmy. Get out of my house."

by Danglin Billies January 26, 2017