The Jesus Bump

Noun

1. Euphemism for awkward Christian sex.

2. Christian dry humping

3. Mormon anal sex

4. A dance move done by Christians in which they spread their arms out to the side to look like Jesus on the cross. Then with feet together hop to the beat of music with knees barely bending. Palms facing forward.

Verb

-ed, ing

The act of doing any of the above
Dude, that Mormon girl; she's totally down for the Jesus Bump.

Yea, man, she was so uptight. But she let me Jesus Bump that.

Man, that Baptist girl was a freak. We did the Jesus bump and soaking.
by Undercommons September 03, 2014
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zombie jesus

Just plain jesus after he rose from the dead.
Mary Magdelane - Holy jesusfuckshits it's zombie jesus.
Romans - Get him!!!
Jesus - Later fools, he rises to heaven while saluting earth with a heavenly su-fi.
by suede1976 December 26, 2006
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jesus tits

The best damn tits there are
by Mike Truitt August 07, 2003
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jesus poop

perfect poop that doesn't leave cling-ons and yet cleanses your colon; the kind of poop you pray for when in a public bathroom - easy, no straining, and no mess
"I eat Activia (tm) once a day so that I know I'm gonna have jesus poops! Spares me embarrassment, man."

by Jumping for Jesus November 03, 2007
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Jesus Christmas

Jesus Christ for those hardcore catholics/christians who have NO BALLS and will not seriously take the lords name in vain
"Jesus Christmas i dropped my fone in the pool"
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Jesus Jizzer

Religion-crazy believers, usually Christians. Those who can never shut up about how "great he is" and how everybody will go to hell who do not practically come about the Christian religion.
When one of our highly religious friends randomly start up an annoying, uncomfortable conversation of "how great church was last night" and how "my life was enriched by the holy saviour" ... by now Nic* & I just go: "dude, we don't jizz for jesus."
Henceforth, a Jesus Jizzer is the exaggerated word for jesus lover. It's like the Christian exaggeration for the word atheist is Devil Worshipper.
:P simple as that
by Zombie Apocalypse ;O March 06, 2011
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Jesus Horse

noun; commonly referred to as "Jesus Horses" by the duo Armstrong and Getty @AandGShow

noun; anything large and fun to ride that terrifies others, such as an SUV

noun; dinosaur
"Did you see that Jesus Horse, it was huge!"

"That's like saying Jesus Horses don't exist... what else can't we teach!"
by echodanny March 27, 2012
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