telewanking

Ostensibly at home working but in fact at home jerking off.

The states and the feds have instituted a widely popular system of telewanking that allows folks to collect their full paychecks while honing their binge watching skills.

by Dr Bunnygirl March 19, 2021

Tantric Television

The principle of maximizing the pleasure of a new television series, by delaying the immediate and empty gratification of single episodes, building to a climax when the season can be enjoyed in its entirety.

I've been abstaining for months from the new season of Mad Men so when the box set is out I can practice my Tantric Television on the couch with the girlfriend.

by Ralph Marathon April 27, 2012

japanese telescope

When the girl jerks off the man's penis in resemblance to a telescope. The man proceeds to cum in the woman's eye making her squint like a Japanese person.

I have the Japanese telescope ready ;).

by Chester St. Rumpterfrabble February 9, 2017

Mentaphysical Astral Telepathy

1)A disease of incorrectly abused and unnatural incompatible frequencies and vibrations made by the human body at atmospheric or brain to brain myopalmus and morse communicative, it is the un-supposed connoisseur's masturbative intercourse participation from distance

Mentaphysical Astral Telepathy is warning :(Possibly Harmful to your health)

by Lane Diamond January 8, 2017

Telecoprolism

The statistically anomalous tendency for the telephone to ring while you are having a shit. Extensive studies have shown that the phone of any individual has, at any given time, a 500% higher chance of ringing while its owner is evacuating his/her bowels than during other common everyday tasks such as masturbation, hoovering and chimping. Some schools of thought consider telecoprolism to be a subset of the Sod's Law principle. The others don't really consider such issues to be a worthy use of academic time and resources.

I was just settling down for my morning log and got telecoprolised by the bank again. Bloody telecoprolism, eh?

by Lancaster's Second Finest August 15, 2011

Telegram

A secure cloud-based chatting platform made by Telegram FZ LLC.
Telegram is a (mostly) Open-Source, high-performance app, available on Windows, macOS / OS X, Android, IOS, and Linux.
Telegram's main purpose is to keep users safe (and keep their data safe) from hackers, snooping employees, etc.
Telegram is easy to use. There are also tons of ways you can customize the client to make it look however you want it to. (You can change colors, backgrounds, shadows, styles, etc)

Telegram's Terms of Service show that they aren't allowed to use your data for anything other than passing it and processing it to the user(s) you're chatting with.

It also supports End-To-End encrypted Secret Chats and self-destructing messages.
Secret Chats are chats that aren't kept on Telegram's servers, they're directly passed trough the servers from one user to the other, allowing for extremely safe conversations. Screenshots also can't be taken while inside a Secret Chat.

Self-destructing messages automatically delete themselves from the users, and from Telegrams servers.
There are also bots on Telegram, allowing the users to have automated services inside their chats (such as GIF searching services and others). Bots have a option called "Privacy mode" that doesn't allow them to see the conversation that users are having, while in this mode, the bots can only detect and react when they are called by their prefix (example: "/command").

Person 1: "Did you know that Discord has nothing in their Terms of service telling you that they can't sell your data?"
Person 1: "It would be safer if we talk on Telegram."

by KKito January 9, 2020

Teleboards

1. An underfunded, poorly-managed forum composed of dysfunctional 'regulars' who hail from North America, Australia, Ireland, the U.K., and one kid from Scandinavia. Escape is for the most part nearly impossible.

2. Cul-de-sac of dementia, anti-social behavior, and neurosis in general.

Examples of Dialogue:

"I hate this shithole. I'm leaving you fuckers."
"You'll be back."
" :rolleyes: "
"Kill yourself, you insert racial epithet or sexist remark."
"You're fired!"
"Fat Rob just posted another final fantasy thread."
"The council are threatening me with an anti-social behaviour order."
"I hate Bush."
"I love Bush."
"I hate everybody."

Et cetera.

by 8-B February 3, 2005