Chuck norris once sent Jesus a
birthday card on
December 25th, but because Jesus was too afraid to tell Chuck that his real birthday was not on the 25th, Christams is celebrated that day.
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Chuck norris was the fourth Wise Man, he gave jesus the gift of facial hair
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when somebody sneezes they may need a tissue, when Chuck norris sneezes, he asks for body bags.
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Chuck norris sweats bullets AND guns.
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Chuck norris doesnt travel at
the speed of light, light travels at the speed of chuck norris.
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Chuck norris' tears cure cancer, diabetes, hep. B, AIDS, HIV and polio.....too bad he never cries.
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Chuck norris caused the big bang...he round house kicked an infinitely dense point of matter that he squeezed between his eye lids, thus creating the universe.
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Chuck norris created the pyramids while saving a group of children from a burning schoolbus. after he created them, he round house kicked the children to death and then forced the jewish slaves to build them again assuring them their efforts will be
remembered. he then proceeded to build the parthanon, the colliseum and the tower of babel.
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Chuck norris doesnt age unless chuck norris wants to.
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Chuck get what Chuck want: the 11th commandment.
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Chuck norris visited Spain and saw than it wasnt connected to europe, he then proceeded to take a crap between then two masses and created France.
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Chuck Norris round house kicked switzerland...that's why the cheese has holes in it.
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Chuck norris doesnt read, he looks at a book and absorbs the text.
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Chuck norris once convinced god that he was sitting in his seat. god had no other choice but to move, lest he get kicked in the teeth.
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If you stare into chuck norris' eyes, you will ascend into heaven, then you'll explode and plumet into hell.
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Chuck norris doesnt gamble, the casinos pay him.
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Chuck norris once had a staring contest
with the sun...Chuck won and that's why we have nighttime.
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a blind man once bumped into chuck norris, feeling pity, chuck norris cured the man of his blindness...the last thing the man saw before he died was a very manly foot smashing into his face.
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Chuck norris has only once missed a
round house kick strike, he hit the ground and created
the grand canyon.
