Covid Shits

The intestinal chaos caused by a bad case of COVID-19. Starts out feeling like indigestion and a few days later progresses to straight fuckin water. Explosive diarrhea is but a gently trickling stream compared to this VEI-8 anal eruption. It’s the Yellowstone of horrifying dumps. You’re unable to eat anything substantial during this time, so it will eventually progress to yellow brown butt pee which will make you long for the days of a normal trip to the can, and guzzle Gatorade like a parched, sweaty football player. By the time you recovery two weeks later, you’ll feel like you experienced George Brett’s meal at Kokomo’s every day for as long as you can remember, and you’ll have probably shit your pants two or three times since this nightmare began. Remember, it’s not a fart.

Remember when all the toilet paper ran out at the start of the pandemic? It was because of the Covid Shits.

by Helostlol March 15, 2021

Rooftop Shits

When you have the runs and you’re pouring sweat like you’ve been working in 95 degrees on a roof just taking a dump with a big puddle of sweat at your feet.

“I ate Taco Bell today and ended up with the rooftop shits.”

by Zach17 September 8, 2023

The Freckle Shits

The act of ingesting something that disagreed with your stomach, resulting with an explosive shit so powerful, that it ricochets of the toilet bowl and lands on your butt cheeks, thus resembling freckles.

Murphy ate the Curry Chicken Special earlier, and it sounds like he has a case of the freckle shits.

by Torra1187 June 3, 2010

crock-shits

A lot, loads, lots.

I made crock-shits of cash playing poker last night.

by Cydne Washington December 26, 2008

fish'n shits

When you spend the day shitting on the edge of the boat because you drank too much beer the night before.

fish'n shits
Jared: Wow!!! that's my 10th keeper bass today. Tim, how many have you caught?
Tim: I caught me a bad case of fish'n shits. I can't even get to my pole. Hey!! hand me a cigarette!

by Mitchell Man July 2, 2008

Lava Shits

A serious fecal disorder. Usually happens to people after eating Mexican Cuisine. Using too much hot sauce, or holding in your shit all day.

When you have lava shits, you may experience some or all of the following:

1. A bad stomach ache.
2. Having chunky, liquid poop.
3. Said poop burns your asshole.
4. It all comes out at once, or takes forever.
5. It goes on all day.

Say you're on the phone with somebody you know. For the sake of argument, we'll call Girl A 'Melissa' and Boy A 'John'.

John: Melissa, are you there?
-----no response from Melissa------
John: Melissa?! ANSWER ME PLEASE! I AM GOING TO DIE!
-----still no response-----
--gunshots--
John killed himself, because he thought Melissa was ignoring him. When in reality, she had the lava shits and laid the phone down. John's life could have been saved, if Melissa wasn't so ashamed of having lava shit and just told him about it.

Moral of story: When you have lava shits, tell everyone.

by Trace the Master March 4, 2009

shits me to tears

Australasian for 'causes me great displeasure'

This traffic shits me to tears,

the weather lately shits me to tears,

Your drinking shits me to tears, are you going to hurry the fuck up or what ?

by jonoabroad September 26, 2007