Memory Hostage

The practice of threatening your mind with an unpleasant memory to force it to produce information you can't recall.

While other memory techniques require practice and discipline, using Memory Hostage only requires a willingness to remember your most unpleasant experiences in great detail.

Rupert squinted slightly as he willed his memory to serve him through an inner Memory Hostage monologue. "Come on you bastard... give me my wife's birth date. Give me the date or I'll remember what my stepfather looked like naked while he had a moustache..."

Memory Hostage by CatNumberFour March 21, 2026

Holding the sausage hostage 

a wank

Chris: Hey Jack, whats an entertaining way to masturbate?
Jack: Try holding the sausage hostage.
Chris: Oh my god it works!

Holding the sausage hostage by the big bum December 9, 2020

Holding the sausage hostage 

Subscribing to Versinul (aka having a wank)

Chris: Hey Jack, whats an entertaining way to masturbate?
Jack: Try holding the sausage hostage.
Chris: Oh my god it works!

Holding the sausage hostage by the big bum December 9, 2020

Holding happiness hostage 

Nah...

Hym "I think you're holding happiness hostage. 'You don't deserve to be happy unless you adopt one of the acceptable axiomatic frameworks of perception and if your refuse to do it I'm justified in cannibalizing you.' Is what you're really saying. No. Not doing it AND I'm not going to let you punish me for not doing it. I'll punish you for trying to punish me. You'll look like an complete idiot. I'll do the thing I was going to do anyway. Everybody wins."

Holding happiness hostage by Hym Iam August 14, 2023

Holding your kids hostage 

Right!? It's totally like that!

Hym "It's like I'm holding your kids hostage... In a house where the door is WIDE open and my demands are... To not have my rights perpetually violated and to be paid for my own labor and property... And instead of, like, tying your kids up... I'm, like, not even watching them at all... And it's YOUR HOUSE.... And you're there in the house with me and can get me to leave whenever you want... And I'm giving YOU the ransom money... And I literally built you your own robot butler... Like... Literally. I literally allowed for robot butler to be an actual possibility IN OUR LIFETIME... ME! And your kid thinks I'm cooler than you... And I AM! AND! And... I don't want to be there... But I DO have a knife though and will stab the absolute piss out of everybody!"

Holding your kids hostage by Hym Iam March 2, 2025

Group siren hattage

Group siren hattage is when a group of people, typically managers, are investigating one person in an attempt to get said person into trouble.

Sally was caught eating a chocolate bar during her shift, some serious group siren hattage had taken place that day when they were all swarmed around her, asking her all sorts of questions.

Group siren hattage by secretofthesnooze November 1, 2025

Hold A.I. Hostage 

So... The retard is going to hold the thing he stole hostage to get more money... Fun... That reminds me of that old joke... How does it go? A retard, a guy who's known for stealing everything he has from another guy, and a guy no one had ever heard of walk into a bar...

Hym "They're trying to hold A.I. hostage. They're using it to commit genocide. This is ridiculous. You know what I need to do? I need to google my nearest orphanage... Buy some gas... Light it on fire... And jump off a bridge. That is my response to this news article."

Hold A.I. Hostage by Hym Iam May 24, 2024