Masturbating

The worlds leading cause of blindness

Did you hear that masturbating makes you blind, its true

by Double D123 May 27, 2008

Mentally Masturbating

Adjective: A state a mind where you seem aloof but brain function is occurring.

Just so you don't think I was mentally masturbating all day here is that excel spreadsheet you requested.

by patmyballs July 10, 2009

masturbating to stay warm

An interaction where a person strokes another's ego, which was passively prompted by the recipient of the stroke. "Masturbate" relates to the self-loving aspect of the interaction, while "staying warm" relates to the external stimulus from the compliment.

Joe's Facebook status (selfie in mirror with shirt off): I think my gym membership is paying off.

Pat: Yeah, I've noticed that you're looking mighty fine these days.

Joe: Thanks Pat! *feelings of warmth experienced by Joe*

Pat thinks: Joe is always masturbating to stay warm on Facebook.

by Sisterhood of Words March 27, 2017

Masturbating

Having sex with yourself

when a male/female don't have a partner, so instead they touch their funny parts to replicate the feeling of sex

Person: i will touch my pp!
*violently "strengthens" pp*

Person: masturbating is so cool!

by the only cum man May 12, 2021

masturbating on the run

When a tardy individual is getting dressed on their way to where they're going.

Masturbating on the run is to get dressed on your way to the destination

Marge: Hurry up and get dressed we're gonna be late!
Rob: Fuck it, I'll just masturbate on the run let's just go.

I'm not one to masturbate on the run but I can't miss my grandmas funeral.

by Xtra3916 July 4, 2022

Masturnating

The act of Nate Aikening so much you are bad at sports, like volleyball

"Man, he is really bad at volleyball today. He must have been Masturnating all night long."

by zig12 June 6, 2009

Masturbating Raven

The self-gratifying use of something that has been pillaged from another origin.
Especially a topic of conversation.

Family guy is a 'masturbating raven' of conversation - two people begin talking, one says something like:
"I hate raccoons."
The other says something like:
"Remember that Family Guy episode when..."
The other person ripostes with another episode...etc.

They didn't come up with the gags but they use, and talk of, them like they own them.
It destroys original conversation.

by Michael Berry, That Guy. December 15, 2008