Toms River is the greatest place on earth! Everyone who is not from the area talks about it like it sucks, yet they all come here during the summer to go "down the shore" (even if they are traveling north to get here). Tommies are not to be confused with the bennies who come here for vacation. The girls do not wear fifty pounds of make up and twenty pounds of hair everyday, and the boys do not sport Brooklyn Blowouts and wife-beaters to show off their non-muscles and NO ONE has a trashy accent.Toms River is most known for winning The Little League World Championship a few years ago. There are MILLIONS of people in this town which result is 12 elementary schools, 3 intermediate schools, and 4 (soon to be 5) high schools. Toms River North (aka Heroin High because one kid did heroin there like 20 years ago) is where all of the richies of the town go. The girls are hot the guys are good at sports and everyone drives a hot car. It is home of the Poland Springs areana and gets yearly renovations to keep it looking great. It also hosts Toms River Fest, an event that causes everyone who is from Toms River to leave town. Toms River East (Pregnancy Point) is know for having no windows. It's located pretty much in the woods and is filled with prostitots. Toms River South (Suicide South) is the oldest school and needs some fixing up. The students there have the most pride and support their sports and are invovled in most things that go on at the school. They also have a nice downtown area to walk to lunch and eat at Java Joint. Mon Don is the private school where people who are kicked out of the other schools go. If you are hungry just drive for five minutes and you will spot a hundred Wawas no matter where you are. The mall is extremely tiny but kids between 7th grade and 10th grade flock there every Friday night until they discover alcohol. Half of the people who live here were on MTV whether they were being MADE or stopped by Seaside over one of the many summers that MTV was there. When you are from Toms River no matter where you go someone will ask if you know another person from Toms River... and you probably won't. Toms River has one of the largest Halloween Parades in the world. You have to make your own fun in Toms River and if you have great friends that's easy to do.When someone from Tomes River goes away to college they realize how great the town really is. You will never find anyone like a Tommie. Tommies believe that Toms River is the best place on Earth.. and it definately is.
by Tommie TR December 13, 2007
It's a large town in New Jersey that has many schools. This town has too many Wawas and Mcdonalds that a town would ever need. It is located near seaside heights, bricktown, manchester,island heights and beachwood. It is known for its cancerous tap water and the home of the little league world champs. There is a mixture of different social classes in this town, but most people are middle class. The housing consists of anything from trailers to mansions, but mostly mid size houses. The night life in this town could be better, but its not too bad. Many people like to go to the Office Lounge, Fridays, Tiffany's, McIntyres Pub, but many people also like to get out of Toms River and go to places in Seaside Heights, Pt. Pleasant or Belmar. There is a large population of teenagers that have rice burner cars. They like to bring there lawn mower sounding automobiles to white castle, wawa and checkers during the late weekend nights. They hang out there until the police chase them out.
by NDAMIX April 23, 2006
'Suburban' town with a population of about 90,000. Don't ask me how THAT works out...
Home of like... 11 elementary schools, 3 intermediate schools, and 3 high schools. Intermediate North is still West to us, and nobody likes Intermediate South because now we have the effing 6th graders. Anyway.
We don't go 'down the shore' because we are ON the shore. We go to the beach aka. Seaside Heights, which is always a great place to get into a fight. Goddamn fucking bennies come here from New York and crowd to our beaches, then ask for directions.. and they wonder why they end up 10 miles from where they wanted to be.
The term 'tommies' originates from a person who lives here.
Everyone knows your name because there is at least one person talking shit behind your back at all times. After the movies, you only go to the mall across the street to get stoned.
The mall is where you go BEFORE a fight. Then you cross the street to the movies.. and fight.
At HS North, you will run into stoners. Frequently. Because everyone knows that High School North is actually called 'Heroin High.' We have a big rock, too. Did you know that?
Toms River is also known for the Little League World Cup or whatever that we won a few years back.
The best place to get stoned is right across the street from a police station. I'm talking about Castle Park, you know.
Just down the road from this police station is Heroin High. Yeah. We like risk.
Our mall is just called the Ocean County Mall because Toms River is one of the bigger cities in Ocean County. Doesn't mean the mall is of any decency.. I mean.. the only good parts are the emo kids, stoners, and getting into fights.
People at North are only 'Made' because North is the most popular HS. Nobody would care if someone from the other two were Made.
People here in general are only made because MTV made Seaside Heights their summer home for a couple of years... and everyone knows that Seaside is actually not a seperate town. Here, we consider Seaside a PART of Toms River. Kinda like Silverton. Or Silverhood, if you want. But you have to cross a bridge to get to Seaside.
We have Wawas. EVERYWHERE.
Applebee's is the place to be after a dance. So much so, that you are not allowed to be there after a dance at Intermediate East.
Houses here sell for about 300,000. Without property.
Oh yeah. Our tap water causes cancer. But don't tell that to the bennies.
Home of like... 11 elementary schools, 3 intermediate schools, and 3 high schools. Intermediate North is still West to us, and nobody likes Intermediate South because now we have the effing 6th graders. Anyway.
We don't go 'down the shore' because we are ON the shore. We go to the beach aka. Seaside Heights, which is always a great place to get into a fight. Goddamn fucking bennies come here from New York and crowd to our beaches, then ask for directions.. and they wonder why they end up 10 miles from where they wanted to be.
The term 'tommies' originates from a person who lives here.
Everyone knows your name because there is at least one person talking shit behind your back at all times. After the movies, you only go to the mall across the street to get stoned.
The mall is where you go BEFORE a fight. Then you cross the street to the movies.. and fight.
At HS North, you will run into stoners. Frequently. Because everyone knows that High School North is actually called 'Heroin High.' We have a big rock, too. Did you know that?
Toms River is also known for the Little League World Cup or whatever that we won a few years back.
The best place to get stoned is right across the street from a police station. I'm talking about Castle Park, you know.
Just down the road from this police station is Heroin High. Yeah. We like risk.
Our mall is just called the Ocean County Mall because Toms River is one of the bigger cities in Ocean County. Doesn't mean the mall is of any decency.. I mean.. the only good parts are the emo kids, stoners, and getting into fights.
People at North are only 'Made' because North is the most popular HS. Nobody would care if someone from the other two were Made.
People here in general are only made because MTV made Seaside Heights their summer home for a couple of years... and everyone knows that Seaside is actually not a seperate town. Here, we consider Seaside a PART of Toms River. Kinda like Silverton. Or Silverhood, if you want. But you have to cross a bridge to get to Seaside.
We have Wawas. EVERYWHERE.
Applebee's is the place to be after a dance. So much so, that you are not allowed to be there after a dance at Intermediate East.
Houses here sell for about 300,000. Without property.
Oh yeah. Our tap water causes cancer. But don't tell that to the bennies.
by Calypsion January 15, 2006
Where wannabe guidos tend to lurk. They also go to teen nightclubs and jerk each other off to house music. Girls that go to teen nightclubs tend to carry around STD's and like to get silly on the dance floor, which is why girls from this scary town are called "sluts". Also, girls from Toms River like to take pictures with duck lips and post them on Facebook, as guys like to take pictures with there shirt off and a hat on, which makes them "fresh". No other town near Toms River likes them, so it's always a big fight which ends up with Toms River getting shat on, usually by Bricktown.
Foreigner: Yo, lets get some bitches from Toms River!
Bricktown kid: I don't want an STD man, let's just drink some Busch.
Bricktown kid: I don't want an STD man, let's just drink some Busch.
by Bricktown January 18, 2012
A town in New Jersey. Everybody knows you. We have 11 elementay schools 3intermeadit schools and 3 high school. Kids from HS North get made all the time. We are known for are little league baseball teams. The mall sucks ass, Cool beans is the only cool place to hang out after the movies. The beach gets over run by fricken new yorker every summer leaving no plcae for the locals. But yet house still go for 300,000+.
by Guinea Pig March 23, 2005
Toms River is a place that seems to have nothing of any value to it other than lots of people and one Little League World Series title. Not to say that isn't a big deal but some of those kids could legitamately have their own kids now. When you tell someone that you live in TR they will ask or asume you play baseball or rattle off ten names of people in the 90,000 person town to see if you know them and if you dont they look at you like you must have lived under a rock. Other than that great sports achievement you would be hard pressed to find any pool of talent in any field from sports to everyday life. Screw teh otehr schools, everythign in TR boils down to the 3-4 high schools. Mon Don being the fourth and forgotten one. HS North, where to start. Might as well be a college campus. They get everything and if they dont have it they have enogh money to buy it and will. The kids there tend to be rich yes snobby superficial and generally better looking than everyone else. Not too bad if you happen to be them. HS East would be the younger sibling in the battle of the 3 high schools. They have everything North does but just less of it. One thing they do have more of is Italians. HS South is the poor retarded step child. They have pride and tradtion. Really South is just a school for burnouts. Any one can make a name for themselves there. Beachwood adds to South's declined wealth as does South Toms River, but STR is the only reason if any taht South does good at sports. No one really judges becasue they are either too dumb or too fucked up to take time to do it. Mon Don is just the private Catholic school that wear uniforms and learn about God or whatever but act like devils. They drink in the parking lot and ahh fuck it who cares no one counts them anyway. Sorry.
What do people do for fun. Well nothing, sadly. Anyone that claims to have a raging social life and also admits to being from toms river is a liar. Everyone has small groups of friends that usually hang out together either at someones house or partying at someone's house. Route 37 and Hooper are the two roads people will drive on just to feel alive and to see otehr people. I'm surprised TR isnt fatter because all people do is go to restaurants mainly applebees because they have half price appetizers but I think it's just to be seen out. You know let people know you are still alive. Sure there is Seaside, but what real entertainment is there on the boardwalk other than watching the pure fact that God has a sense of humor or that he has created some alternate universe with a different species on it that is only about an hour drive away. The boardwalk is just another form of applebees where you can be seen at. The beach is the same way except the beach is actually fun when the local kids arent working all day. Considering that the locals live here and dont vaction here I find that it is harder for locals to get to the beach than it is for actual vactioners. Its just a place for locals to look at each otehr with minimal clothing and stare at vactioners who barely wear anything. Many phone calls go as followed. Hey whats up? Wanna do something? Yeah. What do you want to do? I don't know what is there to do? I don't know wanna jsut come over. And 2 hours later your either at applebees or the boardwalk or wondering why the fuck you sat around the house like there was something better to do.
In TR you gotta make your fun and you gotta make yourself or you'll just rot.
One thing you'll notice about people from toms river is that many arent aware taht there si another world outside of TR. Big deal you were captain of the football team or Prom queen. Guess waht other people in other towns around the globe where too.
If your old I would say retire here because it is just a huge Senior Citizen Living Facility. But if your old you probably dont have a computer and even if you did you wouldnt be on this site....TR 4 Life, I cant help it.
What do people do for fun. Well nothing, sadly. Anyone that claims to have a raging social life and also admits to being from toms river is a liar. Everyone has small groups of friends that usually hang out together either at someones house or partying at someone's house. Route 37 and Hooper are the two roads people will drive on just to feel alive and to see otehr people. I'm surprised TR isnt fatter because all people do is go to restaurants mainly applebees because they have half price appetizers but I think it's just to be seen out. You know let people know you are still alive. Sure there is Seaside, but what real entertainment is there on the boardwalk other than watching the pure fact that God has a sense of humor or that he has created some alternate universe with a different species on it that is only about an hour drive away. The boardwalk is just another form of applebees where you can be seen at. The beach is the same way except the beach is actually fun when the local kids arent working all day. Considering that the locals live here and dont vaction here I find that it is harder for locals to get to the beach than it is for actual vactioners. Its just a place for locals to look at each otehr with minimal clothing and stare at vactioners who barely wear anything. Many phone calls go as followed. Hey whats up? Wanna do something? Yeah. What do you want to do? I don't know what is there to do? I don't know wanna jsut come over. And 2 hours later your either at applebees or the boardwalk or wondering why the fuck you sat around the house like there was something better to do.
In TR you gotta make your fun and you gotta make yourself or you'll just rot.
One thing you'll notice about people from toms river is that many arent aware taht there si another world outside of TR. Big deal you were captain of the football team or Prom queen. Guess waht other people in other towns around the globe where too.
If your old I would say retire here because it is just a huge Senior Citizen Living Facility. But if your old you probably dont have a computer and even if you did you wouldnt be on this site....TR 4 Life, I cant help it.
Toms River is the place where dreams come to be crushed and lives come to be wasted from the sheer intangible concept of boredom. But do come enjoy our beaches.
by HIP-HOP Anonymous May 29, 2006
In toms River, well, lets face it...people are pretty much bored to tears. We can get to Great Adventure in abouot a half hour, and the beach/ Seaside in about 10 minutes, but these things pretty much close down during the winter. So, we're left with Applebees, Cool Beans, and Wawa to occupy our time. There are 12 elementary school, 3 intermediate schools, and 3 high schools, but the funding we receive for our education is really that of a 3-school district. HS North is where all of the rich kids go, so they get the Ritacco/ Poland Springs Center (originally named after our not-yet-deceased school board supervisor), which attracts lots of famous celebrities...like Bill Cosby. HS East and Souths' ceilings, on the other hand, are practically falling in. The nicknames of these three high schools are Heroin High (North), Suicide Central (South), and Pregnancy Point (East). Surprisingly enough, this is a failing school system. To all of the towns 90,000 residents, I want to let you know, you are wasting your childrens' opportunities. Congratulations. Toms River is also host to a few famous things. Our tap water causes cancer, our little league team won the World Series back in God knows when, and people tend to get murdered semi-frequently. A jewel amongst American suburbs, Toms River will shine on.
by sarcastichumor March 01, 2006