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Houston Texans 

The team that suffered the most from the dreadful year of despair; 2020, and has now become the Main Laughing stock of the NFL.
WHY WOULD THE HOUSTON TEXANS RUN THE BALL AND GET KNOCKED FOR A SAFETY!?
Houston Texans by iHangMyself! December 4, 2021

Houston Texans 

An expansion team of the NFL established in 2002 that plays in the AFC South.

They haven't had a winning season since it's establishment, making them the worst team in the NFL.

After finishing 2-14 in 2005, they had the No. 1 draft pick and could've chosen Reggie Bush or Vince Young but they drafted Mario Williams instead, making it the worst draft mistake in NFL history.

In the past two years, they finished 8-8, giving them a .500 season.

They are the only NFL team that hasn't made it to the playoffs.

Mainly because they are the biggest choke artists in the NFL and they always get assraped by the Colts.

Pretty much, they are the suckiest team in the NFL.
(end of the first half)

CBS Sports: "and we are now headed to halftime, the Houston Texans leading 20-7."

(after the game)

CBS Sports: "The Indianapolis Colts have done it again. They single-handedly beat the Houston Texans again. They remain undefeated, 11-0. Final score, Colts 35 Texans 27."

texas bug fucker 

An errant golf shot that fails to go airborne but skips very fast along the ground, never going higher than a foot or two. So fast, in fact, that the golf ball is figuratively fucking a bug. Called a Texas Bug Fucker by Texas golfers, and really by golfers everywhere.
Charlie topped the golf ball off the tea and it skittered so fast that it burned a path down the fairway. It was a real Texas Bug Fucker.
texas bug fucker by WordMan1965 April 29, 2014

King Ranch, Texas 

The Largest ranch in the USA, having 600,000 acres. It's a tourist attraction as well as a working ranch. Spectacular to see!
My neighbor took me to see King Ranch, Texas & I was simply Astounded!

Texas Tyrant 

Any number of Texas politicians who support radical, oppressive, or authoritarian government policies
Texas Tyrants typically support things like the Patriot Act, corporate power, and the war on women, while opposing healthcare, the environment, workers rights, gay rights etc.

Some examples of Texas Tyrants:
George W Bush
Rick Perry
Ted Cruz
Tom DeLay
Texas Tyrant by Real_American March 29, 2015

Texas Smokehouse 

When you have a drag from a smoke or a go at the bong, you then blow it into a woman's vagina, you can also have the option to inhale it back out.
"Woah, man, did you hear about Jessica? Dave tried the Texas Smokehouse on her and she's in hospital!"