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Postitis Syndrome

An ailment of unknown origin considered to be 'virtually' viral that can affect wide cross-sections of any population predominantly with Internet capability. However, more seriously infecting those most susceptible i.e. those who: are anal retentive; have no other life; have too much time on their hands; are infirm; are agoraphobes; possess other such vulnerabilites.

The most obvious symptoms - other than the outwardly addictive behaviour more readily observed by others - is an abnormal growth spanning all (or at least a majority) of the fingertips called a 'keyboard'. Milder forms of the illness can manifest itself in the form of a growth called a 'mouse' usually isolated and attached to only one hand. This form of the disease swiftly grows into the full-blown version quite rapidly exhibiting the keyboard style growth, sometimes nearly instantaneously.

Cure for the disease is not as simple to accomplish as it may at first sound. Invasive proceedures such as surgical removal of the keyboard growth and/or unplugging of the computer seem only to be temporary fixes as in most cases the computer becomes mysteriously 're-plugged' and the keyboard growth rapidly reappears on the victims' fingertips once more. No matter how often these proceedures are followed, the incidence of re-occurance remains alarmingly high, almost 100%.

It is currently classified as a Social Disease, but actually that is a misnomer as it is more of an ANTI-Social Disease as real world relationships suffer while the 'virtual' relationships propogate.

Currently, there is no surefire cure and the outlook for one in the near future is dim.
She has this incurable condition. She never wants to spend time with the family or cleaning the house anymore. And our sex life is virtually non-existant. All her time is spent posting and replying in nearly a half-dozen forums all over the net. I can't wait for someone to come up with a cure for POSTITIS SYNDROME.
by ORD Ellis March 25, 2007
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Postit

They ain't no ho's. Them's postits. I'm gonna get some o' dat shiat.
by Jeb Vial November 14, 2006
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Postitulate

To assume and propose aloud that a person has noticeable breasts (tits)
Person 1: Woah those are some nice breasts you got there.
Person 2: Did you postitulate me.
Person 1: Yea sorry
Person 2: no worries people postitulate me all the time.
by A Safe Source August 24, 2018
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Postitute

Excessively posting random statuses and links on Facebook resulting in friends hiding or deleting you to prevent further viewing.
"Did you see what Mandy posted just now? She's on a rampage!" "No, I was tired of constantly seeing her postitute herself on Facebook, so I hid her from my newsfeed."
by iFakeSarcasms November 13, 2011
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PostiTV

Fanatic Warframe Streamer, endurance runner, defined by his 0% damage trade mark
PostiTV, how much damage did you do ?
by 0Damage November 20, 2018
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postitude

Short form of "positive attitude", definitely not related to another word
We need to practice postitude with friends and strangers in our daily lives.
by yasian37 March 7, 2024
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Postiter Blues

After vacation blues or after vacation depression. The term for the realization that you have to return to slave labor, chores, and reality after a fun and relaxing vacation.

(-Iter is Latin for travel)
The thought of going back to work tomorrow is giving me the postiter blues.
by Krazyladee July 9, 2025
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