Ned 

Ned, otherwise known as Nedderz is the biggest fucking beast you will ever meet. He has a six pack and gets so much pussy he is practically a tampon. If you mess with Nedderz he will fuck you up any day of the week so be warned, Nedderz is not one to fuck with.

Ned Botherway has a twelve inch penis

Ned by dildy69 June 27, 2018

NED 

Northeast Drunk. An alcoholic resident/semi-transient denizen of Northeast Minneapolis.

They once thundered across the post-industrial Nordeast wasteland in great numbers, but gentrification and the closing of Sully's bar have severely curtailed their numbers in recent years.
Typified by the wearing of trucker caps, having of grimy beards, nicotine stained fingers, and less than optimal dental counts.

Northeast has a long and storied drinking tradition, but the beginning of the modern NED era can be traced to the closing of the Grain Belt Brewery in 1976.

NED :"I used to work at the Grain Belt Brewery. I'm waiting for the place to open up again so I can get my job back."
Me, on bus:"Didn't that place close like 30 years ago? And isn't it now a library and condominium?"
NED:"They can make it a brewery again."
ME:"Well, good luck."
NED:"Spare anything for some Natural Ice?"

NED by nedjr January 18, 2011

ned 

NED which contrary to popular belief does not come from Non Educated Delinquent but actually stems from the shortening of the common term "ne'er do well" ned means different things to different places. In England it is chav. Even in Scotland varies. Glasgow Neds have knives normally and if you are in an area with Neds roaming about you are pretty much dead. Edinburgh, too refined to have neds supposedly. but they are there. if you look in the right places. Dundee neds are usually annoying and speak in annoying lingo but tend to be around 14 years old with three children. called brogan, dale and chantelle-marie. Funnily enough the alpha male system of the animal kingdom is in reverse in the Ned System as the smallest and most ginger person is usually the leader. whatever he loses in being the smallest person, he gains from being the biggest shit.

MALE ATTIRE - kappa. lots

FEMALE ATTIRE - Anything that hurts the eyes.

you- (minding your own business)

ned- you talkin' about me??? eh? eh? eh? 'mon then? ya poof? eh? eh? eh? you gee'in us cheek? meh brither shot a lassie last week and e'll get yeh. you think em leh-in? then e'll smash yeh.

you - what?

ned - @£$*(*&*()(*&*(*&^*%$£$%^& (ned talk)

(An excerpt I had in an altercation with a ned because i "looked at him like he was a poof", to unnamed ned. if you are a poof, it is a life decision, and i accept that and i am not out to argue with that because i just don't mind. just make sure you tell chantelle-marie or whoever before you leave her for a toyboy so she can deal with the three children. but hey i will be paying for them anyway!)

(i'm not a snob, just can't quite see what i did to provoke him... i'm harmless really)

ned by i_is_tom October 3, 2007

ned 

the male: usually very thin, wearing a berghaus jacket, trakies tucked into socks, cheap(fake) lacoste trainers, hair that looks like it could land a plane, uaually stoned and drunk(oot der heed man) and would shag anything with a pulse as long as she is a nedette
the female: either very fat or very thin, face that has been plastered with a brand of foundation that has been produced from the tango factory, wearing very little clothes that show off the eight month old bump, wearing three or more fake gold rings on every finger, at least two 3" thick chains sportin someone elses name and usually found on the end of a male neds cock.
similarities: are usually found standing on random street corners drinking cheap alcohol called buckfast or md 20-20, every second word is fuck or some other random word that is intended to offened but no one knows what it means

look at dat big mad scary goff man, am gonnae chibb u ya baw, aye a fucked yer maw last night n she wis luvin it man

ned by kaz n kisp September 5, 2005

Ned 

Hang about in parks and housing estates modelling their finest track-suits, Berghaus jackets and Burberry cap aimed at the moon. A bottle of Buckfast in one hand and the other usually down the "trackies" of a female companion, The female ned dresses in the same atire but has a "tango" coloured face, white arms and an arse as wide as a taxi with a thong cutting through a sweaty layer of flab.

Older neds are called "Mad Tramps" or "Smelly Bastards" wear track-suits, white trainers, smoke roll-ups made with Drum tobacco and think its right the state foot the bill for their inability to earn wages because they are too stupid to even count their own fingers, barely able to make the toilet, yet could cover 100m faster than Usain Bolt to catch an ice cream van for "a boatle o ginger", Drum rolling tobacco and/or 20 Mayfair, a powercard and a 20lb bag of boiled sugar for their 8 month old "wean" for his dinner.

Smoke anything if it was brown, even shite if someone called it hash. And if they are not buying it, they are selling it instead.

Neds houses all appear to be decorated and furnished by the same person also (??) and are filled with, either stolen things or cheap tat, bought with ten-thousand billion percent hire purchase from Shitehouse and a stereo with only cd's of smurf-sounding rave music blasting, or Pink Floyd for the more cultured ned. Ugly, fat and pishy smelling at worst and avoidable at best.

Jeeves: I didn't get into that establishment. By jove one is miffed!

Wooster: Gadzooks! Why not, Jeeves my good man?

Jeeves: Because there was a roudy-rabble of rather inhebriated neds talking to me in the queue, one can only presume the door fellow assumed me as their companion.

Ned by tommy-the-hat February 9, 2010

ned 

Scots : A young waster who lives in the Glasgow area; a hooligan; a gang member, with skip cap, tracksuit and socks tucked into trainers. Poss. from "Non-Educated Deliquent"

"Ah'm no a ned"

ned by George C September 2, 2003

ned 

A ned is a Scottish term for a male between the ages of 8 and 19 who enjoys wearing cheap, usually fake tracksuits, Kappa or Lacoste trainers, white football socks over their tracksuit bottoms, and of course a fake Burberry cap pointed skywards. They may also be seen wearing Helly Hansen of Berghaus jackets, depending on weather conditions.

Favourite pastimes of a ned include smoking anything they can get their hands on, drinking Buckfast ("Buckie") or cheap cider, such as the "White Lightning" crap you can get out of the Spar for £1.50 a litre, starting fights with random people, although never alone, they always start fights in groups ("Crews", "Fleetos" or "Yung Teems"), and shagging the female of the species, coined a "Nedette".

A Nedette is similar to a ned in both attire and pastimes, but instead of a normal Burberry cap, they wear pink Burberry caps, they have around 12 fake gold hoop earrings on each ear, and are usually accompanied by their screaming, butt-ugly toddler, to whom they gave birth at the age of 12.

Traditional Ned Battlecry:
Ned(to passing stranger):"Oi you ya bam. You bein' wide?"
Stranger:"Er......no?"
Ned:"Aye ye are. You deserve a slap"
Ned hits Stranger
Stranger:"What the f*** was that for?
Stranger hits Ned back
Ned(pulling out bread knife):"Me an' ma Crew 'ill f***ing wreck you!"
Stranger runs, pursued by 5 Neds with kitchen knives

ned by CaptainToast January 6, 2009