Kelp

A guy who is whipped, and sucks up to you just to get some.
Also who uses excessive smiley faces, and when he wants to hang out claims he's busy and will "stop by."

Guy: Yeah girl I love chick flicks, we can watch them whenever :) :) :)
Girl: You are seriously such a kelp.

by madiara February 8, 2010

kelp

it is a shit

look at that kelp

by the clit commander April 11, 2003

kelp

Annoying troll which lives underground,preferably it's mother's basement.Where it can spew it's hatred upon all via the internet to feel good about it's self.Can be found licking the floors of peep show booths. Has the mentality of a 12 y/o boy, as well as size and genitalia,if at all.Anything that can be said to a kelp will be twisted in such a way to make itself seem better than everyone.

Guy 1. I have a nice car. kelp. you're a fag, and you live in your mother's basement. Guy 2. My girlfriends hot! kelp. She's a bitch! I only go out with hot chick's, that's all I ever get, they all love me , because I'm such a stud, they all get in line for me!etc., ad nauseum.

by sunshine March 24, 2005

kelp

Pudgy little asshole who mocks others in chatrooms, to feel good about their own "shortcomings".

"All that jerk does is make fun of everyone in the chatroom, he's a real kelp".

by I.M. Noone March 20, 2005

kelp

Unkempt pubic hair most often associated with female prostitutes and homosexuals.

Guy:Did you see that guys balls?
Man:No. All that kelp got in my way.

by Jeff July 25, 2003

kelp

The coolest word ever to be invented. It is fun to write on the board and see if Mrs. M notices, which she doesn't. We laugh in the face of people who think kelp is an underwater plant.

usually just used in a one worded sentence like:
KELP!
or occasionally like a song:
Kelp! I need somebody, not just anybody, i need someone to Kelllllllllp.

by See Kelp Run May 3, 2004

Kelp It

Shortened version of "Can't Help It."

E: why are you always squeezing my ass?

T: I kelp it! It's beautiful.

by Daddyzgurl September 12, 2017