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accordion blow job

A blow job in which the giver moves his/her mouth up and down the penis, as in a harmonica blow job, while simultaneously massaging and pulling enthusiastically at the balls with both hands.
It takes a lot of hand-eye-mouth coordination to perform a good accordion blow job.
by mad mission October 21, 2010
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Accordion

A musical instrument which is played by expanding and compressing the bellows while pressing down buttons, keys, or a combination of both (depending on the kind of accordoin). The accordion has long received a bad repuation and been known as the worst instrument ever. However, the accordion isn't bad. It's just misunderstood.

Contrary to popular opinion, the accordion isn't only a crappy polka instrument. I can be sucessfully used in many style of music including: Cajun music, Zydeco, Tango, Irish music, and (surprise, surprise!) rock.
I saw an amazing accordion player today. He was really rockin'. But then someone came up and shot him in the head for playing the accordion.
by MazurkaMatt June 23, 2006
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Assbortion

When you have a large,hard peice of poop stuck in your butthole and you have to use a clothes hanger to pry it out. Common in people who hold in their shit for more than 15 days.
Dude I was sitting on the toilet for 3 hours last night trying to take a shit. Then I called my mom to come give me an assbortion.
by Tyroneinyoass666 November 16, 2014
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Accordionated

Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time
Dave's a multi-tasker; he accordionated without crashing into the guardrail.
by xPIPx August 7, 2010
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Accordion Face

When a male or female has an attractive face from the side, but when viewed from the front their face is thin and unattractive, as if someone has squashed their face inwards (much like a compressed accordion ). An inverse would be a face that is fine from the side, but is wide and unattractive when viewed from the front (much like an outstretched accordion).
Human #1: Hey girl.
Human #2: Hmm? *turns towards*
Human #1: Oh damn.
Human #2: What?
Human #1: You have one hell of an accordion face.
Human #2: Dick.
by Skeletimothy June 22, 2015
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Bad Assoriosis

A hereditary trait passed on from birth in which the child tends not to give two shits about what other people have to say and does his own thing. The levels of Bad Assoriosis can be rated from one to Five. Level one being a slightly aggresive attitude and stubbourness. Level Five being an absolute confidence in ones authority that when he/she is challenged he/she might put someone in a coma with their own shoe, shit on their chest, and then fuck the poor bastard's significant other regardless of sex, age, or race.

In some cases, one blessed with Bad Assoriosis may not pass it on to their child, thus resulting in said child being a total pussy fart or in some cases this might be reffered to as a queef.
I met this man last night and he punched me in the face and fucked my mom, He got her number and said he would call but he never did, He must have had Bad Assoriosis.
by Skybo67 October 11, 2009
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Dirty accordion

When a girl is playing with the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis.
I gave Jeff a dirty accordion and he enjoyed the tunes.
by Robocophasshittytitties April 16, 2021
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