9 definitions by MazurkaMatt

The reproductive organ of animals of the order squamata (lizards and snakes). It is two sided, allowing the animal to reproduce from either side. This is especially useful to snakes, as they have no legs to assist in mounting. The hemipenis is barbed, order to prevent the escape of the female and to keep the two animals connected in the act of fornication.

To answer a common question related to the hemipenis, no, snake and lizards have NEVER fornicated in threesome.
I can never eat lox and bagel again because the snake's hemipenis looked like smoked salmon with barbs.
by MazurkaMatt May 27, 2006
Get the hemipenis mug.
An organization of a number of people in a housing development who conspire to control their neighbors and prevent any sense of community in that neighborhood. They generally busy themselves with telling people to cut their grass, paint their mail boxes, pull the weeds growing in the cracks of their sidewalk, and then charging the people for the pleasure of being harassed. Abbreviated as HOA.
If you paint your house that color, the Home Owner's Association will hire an assassin to blow your head off with a sniper rifle.
by MazurkaMatt March 21, 2006
Get the Home Owner's Association mug.
A musical instrument which is played by expanding and compressing the bellows while pressing down buttons, keys, or a combination of both (depending on the kind of accordoin). The accordion has long received a bad repuation and been known as the worst instrument ever. However, the accordion isn't bad. It's just misunderstood.

Contrary to popular opinion, the accordion isn't only a crappy polka instrument. I can be sucessfully used in many style of music including: Cajun music, Zydeco, Tango, Irish music, and (surprise, surprise!) rock.
I saw an amazing accordion player today. He was really rockin'. But then someone came up and shot him in the head for playing the accordion.
by MazurkaMatt June 23, 2006
Get the Accordion mug.
Horrid ninety's band that made numerous futile attempts at making a capella music cool by mixing harmonies with "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" and Folgers coffee.

Rockapella produces some of the most horrid noises ever to emanate from an oriface of the human body!
Larry, turn off that Rockapella crap before I shoot you in the face.
by MazurkaMatt May 28, 2006
Get the Rockapella mug.
A form of fishing in which a crazy person runs into a lake and searches for holes on the bottom with his foot. Then he inserts his finger into the hole and lets something bite it. Hopefully, it's a catfish. If so, he wrestles the catfish to the surface and drags it to shore. If its not a catfish, he may lose his finger to a snapping turtle or his life to a water moccasin.

Believe it or not, noodling is illegal in many states.
Never noodle for catfish with your dong or you will receive the most painful injury ever to spring from noodling.
by MazurkaMatt June 1, 2006
Get the noodling mug.
A comical, slightly disparaging term for a Messianic Jew (aka a Jew for Jesus). That is, a Jewish person who believes Jesus Christ is the Messiah.
The date ended when she told me she was Jewish, but had accepted Jesus into her life, and I said, "Oh, you're a Kosher Christian?"
by MazurkaMatt May 12, 2006
Get the Kosher Christian mug.
The combined intestinal, urinary, and reproductive organ of birds, amphibians, reptiles, marsupials, and monotremes. In other words, it's an anus, genitalia, and urethra all in one.

Just consider that for a moment. "Combined intestinal, urinary, and reproductive organ"...let that sink in...........Ewwwwwww.....
I was horrified to discover the lurid details of avian reproduction--which involves a disgusting organ called the cloaca.
by MazurkaMatt November 22, 2006
Get the cloaca mug.