hot as balls

About 97 degrees Fahrenheit. Unlike, say, "hot as hell" or "scorching hot," this expression is actually fairly precise, since the temperature of one's balls is carefully regulated by the scrotum to maintain a high sperm count.

Alice: Man, it is hot as balls out there today.
Bob: Actually, it's about 99 degrees, so it might be "hot as lungs," but balls are slightly cooler.
Alice: ...ooookay, whatever.

by lukebn June 24, 2010

hot as balls

Phrase used to describe when the temperature is hot. Usually it is hot enough that your balls will sag and potentially stick to your leg.

Turn on the AC, it's hot as balls in here

by ByRd November 28, 2007

old as balls

Something that is very old (many years have past). As balls are wrinkly (like old people), it makes a good analogy. Alternately from the facts that the 'ball', a spherical object, has been around for pretty much ages.

"Hey, did you see some of those artefacts in the museum?"
"Yeah man, they old as balls!"

by Hobbeh November 27, 2013

slow as balls

Very slow. Refers to the snail's pace at which the testicles are retracted upward into the groin area when exposed to cool temperatures.

Dangit, this data connection is slow as balls! I wish my iPhone was on Verizon...

by audioman42 May 11, 2010

High as Balls

To be extremely intoxicated by drugs.

That woman took twenty bong tokes, now she is high as balls.

by Ipsatsi July 25, 2011

funny as balls

very very funny

holy crap man you are funny as balls

by gabriel cherry December 18, 2008

Sick as balls

Wickedly awesome, the coolest, the best

The way J ROC rolls that Orange down the skinnies is Sick as Balls

by Phil's Bitches March 25, 2007