Taking My Talents to South Beach

A euphemism for masturbation.

Derived from the much-hated Lebron James and his words to describe his departure from the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my bathroom taking my talents to South Beach.

by ghosterizer23 July 10, 2010

I'll be taking my talents to south beach.

1. To inform someone that the current situation is no longer working.

2. Fuck off.

3. Your not doing it for me anymore, or what you offer is lacking.

The new "it's not me it's you" is "I'll be taking my talents to south beach."

"It wasn't working out so I told her 'I'd be taking my talents to south beach."

"My boss was giving me grief so I said, straight up 'I'll be taking my talents to south beach."

"You don't have kidney beans in this here general store?! Well f-that. I'll be taking my talents to south beach!"

"After the Rolling Stones article, President Obama told General McChrystal he could take his talents to south beach."

It originates when LeBron James turned down the Cleveland Cavaliers offer, on a 1 hour nationally televised special, expressing that he was signing with the Miami Heat. He said "This fall I am taking my talents to south beach."

by Master Alexander July 11, 2010

I'm taking my talents to South Beach

The act of going the bathroom, specifically for a shit. Comes from LeBron James using this phrase to take a massive shit on a huge number of people: fans, teammates, and the entire NBA.

Bro #1: It's time for that bitchin' party!

Bro #2: Yeah! One sec though, I'm taking my talents to South Beach first!

by Disappointed Ohioan October 27, 2010

Bringing your own sand to the beach

Taking your girlfriend / boyfriend to a party or social event where there will be plenty of single women / men to mingle with.

Damn, can you believe that Colin is actually bringing his own sand to the beach tonight! Doesn’t he know that Anna's parties are crawling with beautiful single models!!!

by BigCee September 6, 2005

Take my talents to South Beach

Masturbation. A generation-Y inspired euphemism for masturbating. Inspired by the ego-driven, hour-long announcement by LeBron James indicating that he was signing with the Miami Heat.

Rather than spend more time trying to bring the hot girl from the bar home with me, I decided to take my talents to South Beach and take care of things myself.

by sexual napalm July 12, 2010

you don't bring sand to the beach

you don't bring your girlfreind or Women to a party or event where there will already be plenty of available pussy (saying originated by EF in 1988)

bringing women or dates when it's not necessary (you don't bring sand to the beach)

by FOX1970 November 19, 2011

Just go to stinson beach. I need to show you something

A term used in /r/nosleep
about a person who finds a tape on stinson beach. Which changes people. And gave a woman nightmares about the tape etc. etc.

GUY #1: HEY WE NEED TO TALK!!!
GUY #2:Just go to stinson beach. I need to show you something
GUY#1: omfg stfu I wont go down there I will die :(

by Stinson Beach August 2, 2011