Saturbating

The act of spending an exorbent amount of time looking at ones own personal accomplishments statistics.

Often a co-worker who is always checking out their own sales numbers or sales stats.

Or the friend who wants to see their all the stats at the end of your favorite multi-player video game(i.e. Halo, Gears of War, Rock Band, etc.).

Joe: Alright lets go on to the next round of the game...

Frank: Wait dude I want to see how many head shots I got that round.... Woa I killed Bill 18 times...Jim you suck....

Joe: Alright Frank quit saturbating lets go...

by munciemike May 23, 2009

shiturbate

The act of masturbating while taking a shit.

Thomas missed the meeting because he decided to shiturbate.

by Fuzzy Buttons December 15, 2013

shaturbate

To shit and masturbate at the same time

I was sitting on the toilet, and I decided to shaturbate to this picture of Jenny

by Poloshirts64 May 7, 2014

Sadsturbation

masturbating while sad.

"My girlfriend broke up with me, so im left to sadsturbation."

by a guy who is a guy February 18, 2015

sadsturbation

Masturbation while in a state of emotional discord as a futile means to pacify pain.

You remember that weird, but kinda hot sadsturbation scene with Naomi Watts in Mulholland Drive?

by RoniNix September 18, 2011

Sexturbates

When you are forced to masturbate after sending a sexually explicit text to someone that is ignored.

Kristin- 'What up sexy Steven...I so wish you were here right now to *blank* my *blankety* *blank*...I want you so effin' bad right now'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

After checking her phone for the umpteenth time and pattin' herself on the back for being so hot and sexy, Kristin gives in and sexturbates.

by kffluffy August 5, 2010

Saturdate

A date to go out on any given day; Sundate, Mondate, etc.

I was going to stay home this weekend, but at the last minute I got a Saturdate.

by Gingeygirl June 6, 2011