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Farts and Prayers

Giving a non-denominational fart and prayer in tribute to a fallen subjects memory. A far more tangible take on the often and overall useless but nevertheless used 'thoughts and prayers.'
Goofus: Dawwwg! Remember that bitch Bernice from high school who's dog died in 9-11? I ran into the bitch at my daughters school bake sale and I was all of a sudden so overcome with muthafuckin' emotion from her struggle to overcome that loss that my bowels overtook my heart and I farted in front of her and then dropped to one knee and said a hail mary in remembrance to fido. Just one because dogs are not equal to people but enough to not let his loss not be in vain. I think its from all that Amy Grant i've been listening to lately B. Anyways, Farts and Prayers.

Gallant: You are such an insensitive and insufferable prick!
by Queef_Quackenbush_Jr October 17, 2020
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serenity prayer

Dear God, please grant me the Serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.
Sometimes when no one else is listening, I recite the serenity prayer to myself and remember that God is always listening.
by yyuryyubicuryy4me June 17, 2018
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Shepherds prayer

And shepherds we shall be,
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti.

The famous prayer that the brothers in the boondock saints say before killing an important mob boss.
Man, the shepherds prayer was so cool when they killed that one guy...i wish i knew it...
by BAMFzfs September 11, 2009
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pimps prayer

The prayer you say when your ho is acting out.
Pimps Prayer: Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong Oh Lord, so that she may learn a hoes place. Amen.
by luvharrypotter15 August 14, 2011
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The Man's Prayer

Prayer for men, ironic. From "Red Green" Canadian public access television.
"I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess." -The Man's Prayer
by RookCastle February 20, 2013
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gestalt prayer

A 56-word statement, originally written by psychotherapist Fritz Perls, that serves as a way of life model for many who live or seek to live outside the influence of the status quo. The "prayer" has since become synonymous with individualism and peaceful rebellion. It gets its name from a specialized form of therapy called Gestalt Therapy, a brand of therapy which Dr. Perls helped to create.

The "prayer" can be found below:
I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.

-Gestalt Prayer
by hurpeeeeeez May 20, 2008
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Prayer Crack

When praying, the unfortunate situation where Muslims, who are bowing or in prostration, have their pants too low and the individual behind them, is left to see their butt-crack.
Dude. I was praying and subjected to a wicked case of prayer crack in front of me...
by Abu Big Bird February 9, 2013
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