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Liberals

People who take the little issues and makes the issue explode into a major issue. As seen in extreme cases like Women's marches and anarchism in our own country!
Person 1: There's another protest going on. I bet a liberal started it.

Person 2: Ugh, Liberals make no sense!!
by Trumpstyles February 23, 2017
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Liberals

People who give a shit about their fellow man.
Liberals "I cam empathize with disadvantaged people and feel that all folks deserve a fair chance to achieve the America Dream."
Crazy person "You and all socialist anti-American fascist Liberals should be shot for treason."
by Dougie #0001 September 10, 2009
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liberals

1. Persons so open minded that their brains have fallen out.
2. Those who have abandoned logic and reason, and rely on 'warm fuzzys' as a sound basis for the making of decisions.
3. Avocates of policy that empowers a strong federal government to enslave its people with the high tax burden incident to the support of extravagant and unnecessary (not to mention unconstitutional) social programs destructive to both the work ethic among the lower class, and the incentive to innovate and succeed among the upper class. In effect: To overthrow the constitution by destroying the basic guarantees of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness that its framers ingrained into it. ('...it's like when three wolves and a lamb vote on what to have for dinner...' Liberals are the wolves who punish those in our society who work hard and are successful.)
4. Hypocrites who deride members of the religious right for 'imposing its religion' upon them. Ironically, also guilty of trying to impose its religion upon the religious right... just bitter because the religious right, nation wide, still holds the majority. (Hey, morons: Every law is an imposition of someone's morals on someone else. You're just mad that its not your morals that are being imposed!)
5. Moral elitists who look down with disdain upon the traditional values and faith in the Creator that made this nation the greatest in history. They view those who hold to The Faith as unenlightened and unsophisticated, those who 'just don't get it'.
6. Hypocrites who preach tolerance of all, then openly mock and ridicule Republicans/Christians, deniers of global warming, and others who disagree with them.
They preach environmentalism as they criss-cross the nation in private jets, limos, and SUV's, and pay thousand-dollar electric bills for their multi-million dollar mansions, all while preaching the new national religion (a concept they also claim to oppose) of environmentalism with its apocalyptic 'the-sky-is-falling' global warming BS.
They advocate equality and freedom of choice for all, yet they advocate the progressive tax structure that punishes and takes freedom from those who've succeeded. Yet they favor discrimination against white males whom they blame for all of societies' ills (like driving minorities and the lower class to lives of poverty and incarceration), and avocate affirmative action which furthers the racial discrimination that they claim to have fought to end.
They claim to advocate the elimination of poverty, yet vehemently oppose teaching people how not to become poor: WORK HARD, GET AN EDUCATION, AND KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED TILL MARRIAGE. (Look it up. It really is the way to eliminate poverty...)
They hold steadfastly to the constitution, holding sacred the Bill of Rights, while decrying the two rights that guarantee all of the others: The rights to freedom of the press (McCain-Feingold act, and the fairness doctrine) and the bearing of arms (all gun control).
Opponents of the death penalty for those most deserving of death, advocates of abortion of those most deserving life.
Liberals often refer to themselves as 'progressives'. This is, however, an inaccurate term, as liberalism does not lead to progress. It only tears down time-honored traditions and proven institutions like the family, democracy, faith in God, self-reliance, personal responsibility, hard work, and other things that make our nation great. Liberalism advocates a return to the primal, the carnal, the primitive, the calling of evil good and good evil, and therefore is not progressive. A more accurate term might be 'regressive'.
Liberals come in several variations:
Hollywood liberal: A celebrity who lives a trite, meaningless life in a drug-induced haze of casual sex, infidelity, and amorality, changing spouses like designer shoes, who then lectures the rest of us on what's right and wrong.
Also a member of the Hollywood elite that produces films, music, and tv that portrays the US to the world as a violent, greedy nation of oversexed hedonists with plastic boobs (see Baywatch, Beverly Hills 90210, Desperate Housewives, and other popular American fare airing throughout the world in film and syndication) and then blames George Bush and the Republicans for making the world hate us.
Wine and cheese liberal: (Often synonymous with "Hollywood liberal") Liberals who fly their private jet to town and show up at an event in a limo, while wearing designer clothes and expensive jewelry as they associate with other liberals, bemoaning the miserable quality of life around the world, AIDS, poverty and global warming, the fact that the French hate us, and blaming Americans (or specifically the Republicans) for causing it.
See Bono, Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, George Clooney, Sean Penn, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jane Fonda, Tim Robbins, Madonna, etc...
Poor Liberal: A liberal who sits on his couch all month waiting for the welfare check to come. Claims to be unable to find a job or uses "I'm holding out for a management position" as justification for being unemployed for five years while his wife is out bringing home the bacon.
Poor liberals always vote for candidates who'll show the most 'compassion' to the poor, as they know that 'compassion' is lib-speak for 'welfare'.
Other poor liberals rely on 'compassion' to feed the six kids they had before the age of 21 with six different fathers. They can't rely on the fathers because they're all in prison. They aren't held responsible, because, wine-and-cheese liberals say, it's not their fault. It's the white man's fault for being rich, thereby making them poor.
Still other poor liberals eagerly await the day when they will receive repairations for the injustice of slavery that their ancestors endured, claiming outwardly that that fact alone entitles them (having never been enslaved) to a free ride, while inwardly looking for a way to subsidize a life of laziness and thereby avoid having to work for what they get like the rest of us.
Smart liberal: There is actually no such thing as a smart liberal. The term is an oxymoron. Smart liberals only think they're smart because they work in a university (they work at universites because they're not smart enough to get jobs in the private sector). This is generally speaking of course, as there may actually be one or two somewhere.
Bill Clinton: Not necessarily liberal or conservative, he just parties with liberal chicks 'cause he knows they'll put out. (Such behavior explains, therefore, his advocacy of abortion rights.)
Other types exist, however they really aren't worth mentioning.
Liberals and reason are like fat kids and carrots.

"ummm... like.... I'm totally for pro-choice..." - Jewel
by R. Andreason August 13, 2007
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Liberals

Hateful term applied to anyone smarter than George Dubya. If it weren't for liberals slavery would still be completely acceptable. Liberals are often called Un-American for having common sense. Apparently Common sense is now only a European trait. Often picked on and despised for questioning questionable leadership as if we should follow our leader (reguardless of who) off a bridge without question. Liberals are despised for thinking for themselves as Republicans always blame the non-existant "liberal media" for the problems and turn to Fox news for their daily intake of rightwing bullshit which they like to call "fair and balanced"
Liberal: I voted for John Kerry because I think he's more qualified to lead our country.

Moron: You're Un-American
by Aaron March 29, 2005
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liberals

Left-wing idiots of America, they claim to love the country, yet at the same time contradict themselves by bashing any actions taken by the government to protect our nation. They say they love freedom, but will be the first to deny any action that spreads freedom in the world. Their main philosophy is "protecting peoples' rights" and they do this by bashing Christianity calling it "an infringement of people's freedom", although they will grant freedom to rapists, murderers, child molesters, etc, thus endangering people. With liberals in control, anarchy would occur. The ACLU (Anti-Christian Liberal Ulcers), will criticize a business for simply using the word Christmas or putting a nativity scene in the mall, but will allow Islamic groups to hold religious meetings in a public school. Liberals will support abortion, saying that "its the woman's choice" without any regard to the baby that is killed. These idiots are trying to redefine the real definition of marriage (man and woman) into man and man, in an attempt to make being gay seem normal. Liberals will support welfare programs in response to unemployment, but in time this creates more unemployment as a lazy generation of welfare receipients is created. When asked to defend their policies, Liberals will jump around the issue, since they have nothing to back up their beliefs. These left-wing lunatics will put out terrorist-supporting propaganda such as "Fahrenheit 911" in attempt to defeat the fact that these ruthless terrorist factions exist. Sadly, the media brainwashes more and more Americans into the Liberal cause. These people cannot think for themselves and unfortunately the majority of young people are liberals. There is a saying and it goes: "If you're not a Liberal by age 20 you have no heart, if you're not a Conservative by age 40, you have NO BRAIN!" I guess I have no heart then, but at least I can make sensible decisions!
These liberals make me sick with their hypocrisy!
by D-Block_NJ December 23, 2006
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liberals

A word very friggin' difficult to define. Can mean different things in different countries and at different times. In America right now it refers to a person supporting left-wing economic and social policies.
Ann Coulter: It's all the liberals' fault!
by Kathryn January 22, 2005
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Liberals

A socio-political group that believes the best way to stamp out things like crime, unacceptable behavior, and other forms of social deviance is to legalize and/or accept everything. However, the hypocrisy of Liberals stems from their intolerance of anything that is not a liberal; i.e., they accept anything but a conservative mindset.

Examples:

1. Drug dealers will no longer be criminals if we legalize drugs, so let's do that.

2. Gays will no longer be ostracized if we legalize gay marriage, so let's do that.

3. Christians are an awfully intolerant lot; let's outlaw Christianity in public places like schools and judicial institutions.

Another political core attribute of the Liberal is to exploit demographics to gain power. This is accomplished by convincing low-income, no income, and/or non-residents (read: illegal aliens) that the rich somehow owe them something, but that the benefit comes from the Liberals and not from the rich who are actually footing the bill. So when the voting booths open, all the people who don't work for a living vote for more people who don't work for a living so that those who do work for a living can work their asses off to support useless people.

This can be seen in the government's "Section 8 Housing" program, where foreigners move to the United States with their 5 children, no husband, and are immediately set up in a free apartment with free food stamps, free health coverage, and free Cox High-Speed Internet and Digital Cable. Don't believe me? I audit Section 8 Housing for a living. I see it first hand. You, the taxpayers, are getting fucked in the ass and not even being kissed first.

Yet another important note about Liberals is that they flaunt surpluses as if the money came out of Heaven like the Manna of the Old Testament. They fail to tell you that an $80 Billion surplus doesn't mean they're frugal, it means they overcharged the taxpayers $80B. Sorry you can't pay your rent, but hey, at least there was an $80 Billion surplus so the government must be doing something right.

The final thing I'll note about Liberals is that they will get all offended by this definition, thinking it implies Conservatives are smarter and/or always right, which is purely not the case. Both sides suck in their own particular way, welcome to human nature.
The Liberals are for Big Government, Big Taxes, Big Spending, and Big Talk. They disguise this by accusing the Conservatives of being Big Brother.
by JustAnotherGuy February 19, 2005
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