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Hamplanet

An absolutely, ginormous, tub of lard on legs. We aren't just talking about your slightly obese English teacher here we're talking about those people whose appearance is more than physically disgusting. Usually at 5 feet tall maybe an inch or two larger and over two hundred pounds of "curves" they are usually seen at Walmart scarfing down food and driving around on scooters made for handicapped people. They love to troll the fresh produce section for random person to call anorexic. Prepare yourself for bad grammar, insults, and "curves" if you ever encounter one.
Dan: Holy shit Paul Hamplanet alert!
Paul: SHIT WHY IS THE WORLD SHAKING.
Hamplanet: YOU CAN'T HANDLE MUH CURVES!
by Sparklecunt April 16, 2013
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hamfest

A (usually annual) gathering of old, stinky, unwashed, and severely overweight men (with a limited number of women, usually of the same qualities) where antiquated and largely useless radio equipment is bought, sold, and traded, usually at exorbitantly high prices.

While some hamfests are useful for finding odd parts and rare equipment, many have degraded in quality over the years and are not worth going to any more.
I was at this one hamfest in Bowie, MD and this hambone picked up a simplex repeater and said, "Duh, so it records the radio, TTX?"

h4mb0n3-1: Man, did you go to the Vienna hamfest this year, the one at NOVA?

h4mb0n3-2: No way, d00d, that hamfest is not as good as it used to be.
by Scout 740 Baker April 16, 2004
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Related Words

New Hampshire dog

A modified version of a hotdog. You stick your penis on a hotdog bun and drizzle it with maple syrup. When presenting it to whomever you choose to give it to you say "order up" or "dinner is served". Perfect for a party prank or surprising your girlfriend or wife.
I need to run to the grocery store for syrup and hotdog buns. I need to serve up a New Hampshire dog.
by M_Dubz152 June 6, 2023
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hampden

hampden is the royal farms headquarters of the world.

hampden's bike lanes double as jazzy speedways.

hampden can satisfy all your non-contractual cellphone needs. no questions asked.

hampden has a disturbing amount of peewee herman memorabilia and an unhealthy relationship with flamingos.

hampden is a good place for getting burned for ready rock at 4 am after coming down off of shrooms.

hampden's mcdonalds gives you really salty fries. just sayin.

hampden: home of dimitri's. where one can purchase a beverage for three dollars (including tip) at 6:01 am.

hampden: home of the largest slice of pizza ...and diarrhea.

some home grown celebrities: hey helen (r.i.p.), that dude with the tattoos on his face, the other dude with the swastika on his chest (who hangs with black dudes), the king brothers, big bubba (fire hero), and magoo - to name a few.
yous two stay here. mama's going to the rite aids. (in hampden)
by girlnarly October 30, 2011
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Hamplanet

The last thing that hamplanet needs to be doing is going into a MacDonalds.

The new chick they hired in HR is a total hamplanet.
by 8101Wanker February 28, 2016
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Hamfucker

1. A word used to describe a person with limited social skils or is an otherwise undesirable individual from a personality standpoint. It can be used interchangeably with words like asshole, fuckbucket, shitpurse, tool, numbnuts, etc.

2. A male who is able to attract beautiful women but chooses to hook up with flatsos and other fat broads.

3. An individual who literally has sex with ham.
1. What the hell? Who's the hamfucker that upper decked my toilet?

2. Q. Why is Bob with that chick? She's a bitch, she's fat and he can do so much better. A. He's a hamfucker, that's why.

3. News Anchor: "In local news, an unidentified male is in police custody for indecent exposure and lewd conduct involving a canned ham at a supermarket..." Witness on camera: "...I saw him open a can of ham and then, well my children started crying..." News correspondant: "...that's disturbing news...back to you Jim..." News Anchor: "that's one sick hamfucker; sports is coming up after the break..."
by JEUNT April 15, 2010
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Hampire

An overweight figure, most commonly found lurking about goth clubs after the successful plunder of a local Honeybaked location. By the trail of honey glaze, the Hampire is armed with a bodily odor so foul, that it asphyxiates those caught in the wake of its' greasy treacle. Should you encounter a Hampire, it is said that the best defense against the foul pantry-dweller, is a good pair of cross-training shoes: If it can't keep up with you, the Hampire will soon loose all interest in you, favoring the closest emochilde it can snack upon.
"Hey, where'd my sandwich go, and why does it smell like rancid bacon on this patio?"

"Damn dude, did you see the size of that Hampire that went past? That Gloomcow almost stuck me to the floor with how much patchouli was funked onto her!"
by Col. Harland Sanders March 4, 2009
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