JEUNT's definitions
The anus. It is also know as the butthole, fecal dispenser, cigar cutter, the moist, poop chute, crap cooker, colon, fartbox, shit lips, sphincter, ol' crusty, etc.
Dude, I have to pass a loaf so bad that I can hear it. If I don't get to the toilet soon it will slide past the turdstile.
by JEUNT December 4, 2010
Get the turdstile mug.An incident where a bowel movement, or any derivative of it such as used toilet paper, are intentionally placed anywhere but in a toilet bowl or otherwise proper disposal receptacle. This is similar to a shitting incident but shitting incidents are accidental in nature. Fecal jihaddists are also sometimes referred to turd terrorists. The most common word uttered by victims of fecal jihad is "FUCK!!"
There are several kinds of Fecal jihaddists.
1: The Roadside Bomber a.k.a. Land Miner
This skillful but sick asshole shits on the ground or floor, it can be anywhere, indoors or outdoors, even in the middle of a five-star restaurant He's like a dog. He wants you to step in it. These guys are usually passive-aggressive cowards; some though just have a sick but excellent sense of humor.
2: The Phantom Menace (or Phantom Shitter)
This guy is similar The Roadside Bomber but he's not quite as dangerous. This individual tends to shit in places where they linger, like a hallway closet or under a bed. People who upper deck are Phantom Menaces.
3: The Suicide Bomber
This is the most unholy of the bunch. This individual will defecate in his or her own pants and keep it there for everyone to bask in. Suicide Bombers often dunch themselves in public and go to places like the food court in the local mall for about two hours while smelling like a shit.
There are several kinds of Fecal jihaddists.
1: The Roadside Bomber a.k.a. Land Miner
This skillful but sick asshole shits on the ground or floor, it can be anywhere, indoors or outdoors, even in the middle of a five-star restaurant He's like a dog. He wants you to step in it. These guys are usually passive-aggressive cowards; some though just have a sick but excellent sense of humor.
2: The Phantom Menace (or Phantom Shitter)
This guy is similar The Roadside Bomber but he's not quite as dangerous. This individual tends to shit in places where they linger, like a hallway closet or under a bed. People who upper deck are Phantom Menaces.
3: The Suicide Bomber
This is the most unholy of the bunch. This individual will defecate in his or her own pants and keep it there for everyone to bask in. Suicide Bombers often dunch themselves in public and go to places like the food court in the local mall for about two hours while smelling like a shit.
Partygoer: Dude, this party is great and all but I think you're the victim of fecal jihad.
Host: Thanks, but what do you mean by fecal jihad?
Partygoer: Someone made a poopy on your kitchen floor and a few people tracked it though the house.
Host: FUCK!!
Host: Thanks, but what do you mean by fecal jihad?
Partygoer: Someone made a poopy on your kitchen floor and a few people tracked it though the house.
Host: FUCK!!
by JEUNT January 14, 2010
Get the fecal jihad mug.An occurence where a bowel movement is unintentionally placed anywhere but in a toilet bowl or otherwise proper disposal receptacle. This is similar to fecal jihad or turd terrorism but differ in the fact that fecal jihad and turd terrorism are intentional acts.
Example 1:
Q: Dude, you're like two hours late. We already saw the movie. Where the hell were you?
A: Oh, sorry man. I ate two bowls of bran cereal, two bananas and a pot of coffee this morning. I got stuck in traffic on the way here. I couldn't hold it in any more and had a severe shitting incident in my pants. I had to go back home and clean up. My car is disgusting right now.
Example 2:
Q: So, uh, I heard you had an interesting evening last night...?
A: Um, yeah. I had a pretty bad shitting incident at a bar. I suddenly had to go, like immediately. There was some fat asshole pissing in the crapper for about three weeks. I held it in as long as I could. As soon as I got in there, I took off my pants but a pound of crap shotgunned out long before I could sit down. It was everywhere but in the bowl. Some may have hit the ceiling. I had to leave the bar out the back door.
Q: Dude, you're like two hours late. We already saw the movie. Where the hell were you?
A: Oh, sorry man. I ate two bowls of bran cereal, two bananas and a pot of coffee this morning. I got stuck in traffic on the way here. I couldn't hold it in any more and had a severe shitting incident in my pants. I had to go back home and clean up. My car is disgusting right now.
Example 2:
Q: So, uh, I heard you had an interesting evening last night...?
A: Um, yeah. I had a pretty bad shitting incident at a bar. I suddenly had to go, like immediately. There was some fat asshole pissing in the crapper for about three weeks. I held it in as long as I could. As soon as I got in there, I took off my pants but a pound of crap shotgunned out long before I could sit down. It was everywhere but in the bowl. Some may have hit the ceiling. I had to leave the bar out the back door.
by JEUNT January 14, 2010
Get the shitting incident mug.1. The odor of a sweaty yambag, reminiscent of a taco that has been sitting at room temperature for several days.
2. Scrotom odor.
3. A sweaty male undercarriage. Musicians, most notably drummers, experience sweaty crotches from playing. Removal of pants often smells like an abandoned taco after a gig
4. Hot balls.
2. Scrotom odor.
3. A sweaty male undercarriage. Musicians, most notably drummers, experience sweaty crotches from playing. Removal of pants often smells like an abandoned taco after a gig
4. Hot balls.
Q: Hey, you want to go to that nudy bar after the gig?
A: I gotta get a shower first. I have some rancid tacobag going.
A: I gotta get a shower first. I have some rancid tacobag going.
by JEUNT November 20, 2009
Get the tacobag mug.An abnormally time-consuming, large, pasty and often painful bowel movement. As a general rule, taking a dunch requires most of one's lunch break to pass loaf or loaves and finish the paperwork.
Q: "...Hey Bob, I'm going to that sushi joint with the girls from accounting. You wanna come?"
A: "...I'd love to but I have to take a horrendous dunch." I'll see you at the 3:00 meeting."
A: "...I'd love to but I have to take a horrendous dunch." I'll see you at the 3:00 meeting."
by JEUNT November 11, 2009
Get the Dunch mug.1. A word used to describe a person with limited social skils or is an otherwise undesirable individual from a personality standpoint. It can be used interchangeably with words like asshole, fuckbucket, shitpurse, tool, numbnuts, etc.
2. A male who is able to attract beautiful women but chooses to hook up with flatsos and other fat broads.
3. An individual who literally has sex with ham.
2. A male who is able to attract beautiful women but chooses to hook up with flatsos and other fat broads.
3. An individual who literally has sex with ham.
1. What the hell? Who's the hamfucker that upper decked my toilet?
2. Q. Why is Bob with that chick? She's a bitch, she's fat and he can do so much better. A. He's a hamfucker, that's why.
3. News Anchor: "In local news, an unidentified male is in police custody for indecent exposure and lewd conduct involving a canned ham at a supermarket..." Witness on camera: "...I saw him open a can of ham and then, well my children started crying..." News correspondant: "...that's disturbing news...back to you Jim..." News Anchor: "that's one sick hamfucker; sports is coming up after the break..."
2. Q. Why is Bob with that chick? She's a bitch, she's fat and he can do so much better. A. He's a hamfucker, that's why.
3. News Anchor: "In local news, an unidentified male is in police custody for indecent exposure and lewd conduct involving a canned ham at a supermarket..." Witness on camera: "...I saw him open a can of ham and then, well my children started crying..." News correspondant: "...that's disturbing news...back to you Jim..." News Anchor: "that's one sick hamfucker; sports is coming up after the break..."
by JEUNT April 15, 2010
Get the Hamfucker mug.A measure of obesity based on the number of chins on a person. It is quoted as a "chindex of..." or "chindex factor of" followed by a number. A single chin (chindex of 1) generally reflects a lack of obesity. A second chin (chindex factor of 2) suggests the individual is overweight. Chindices, the plural of chindex, that are greater than 2 indicate that the individual is a fat mess. A chindex of 0 suggests the individual lacks a jaw, probably from a medical condition or horrific incident. If you have a chindex of 0, you have a fucked-up lookin' face.
Q: Hey, did you hook up with that chick last night? She looked hot but I was pretty liquored up.
A: No, dude you must have been really fucked up. She was gastric-bypass big...she had a chindex of 5.
A: No, dude you must have been really fucked up. She was gastric-bypass big...she had a chindex of 5.
by JEUNT June 9, 2010
Get the chindex mug.