Jesus Christ again? What a Glenn Beck.
by Pennywise 382 July 13, 2011
The Pee-Wee Herman of news punditry. A goofball extraordinaire who defies conventional wisdom by maintaining a loyal audience.
Caller: I'm asking you a logical question!
Glenn Beck: I'm giving you a logical answer!
Caller: You don't have logic!
Glenn Beck: You're right.
Caller: Where's your logic? What would you do? I'm asking you, "What would you do to change this healthcare system for the better?" After all, everytime you people bring up cost, you don't care about the trillions of dollars going to the banks and all the credit card companies...
Glenn Beck: Cathy, GET OFF MY PHONE!!! GET OFF MY PHONE YOU LITTLE PINHEAD!!! I DON'T CARE!!! YOU PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE TRILLIONS!!! GET OFF MY PHONE!!! I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND TODAY!!!!
Glenn Beck: I'm giving you a logical answer!
Caller: You don't have logic!
Glenn Beck: You're right.
Caller: Where's your logic? What would you do? I'm asking you, "What would you do to change this healthcare system for the better?" After all, everytime you people bring up cost, you don't care about the trillions of dollars going to the banks and all the credit card companies...
Glenn Beck: Cathy, GET OFF MY PHONE!!! GET OFF MY PHONE YOU LITTLE PINHEAD!!! I DON'T CARE!!! YOU PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE TRILLIONS!!! GET OFF MY PHONE!!! I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND TODAY!!!!
by Shareeb4Prez September 24, 2009
According to the ancient myths and legends, Glenn Beck was "created" from a giant turd farted out of the disease infected ass of Rush Limbaugh, which was then fertilized and nurtured for six days and six nights by Ann Coulter, who subsequently gave birth to the end result.
Stats: Glenn Beck is roughly humanoid in appearance, comprising 80% feces, 10% grain alcohol, 5% hot air, 4% unidentifiable matter and 1% human skin.
It feeds on liquor, various drugs, hatred and media attention.
It's primary habitat is currently the Fox News studios in New York City.
Glenn Beck's political beliefs are an extremely demented and warped version of Right-Wing Conservativism, coupled with an even more demented and warped version of Christianity.
Glenn Beck is known for spouting an endless stream of lies, distortions, half-truths, propaganda, false claims, made-up facts, treasonous banter, harmful advice, and good-old-American-bullshit.
Glenn Beck seems to host what outwardly appears to be a cable news program, but is in reality a paid political shill factory with zero journalistic qualities. Glenn Beck is also accompanied by several other of these "Fox Newscasters," all of of whom have never attended any type of journalism academy or have received degrees in said subject.
What to do if you encounter Glenn beck:
Your best hope is to toss him a bottle of cheap scotch, run in the opposite direction and hope for the best!
Stats: Glenn Beck is roughly humanoid in appearance, comprising 80% feces, 10% grain alcohol, 5% hot air, 4% unidentifiable matter and 1% human skin.
It feeds on liquor, various drugs, hatred and media attention.
It's primary habitat is currently the Fox News studios in New York City.
Glenn Beck's political beliefs are an extremely demented and warped version of Right-Wing Conservativism, coupled with an even more demented and warped version of Christianity.
Glenn Beck is known for spouting an endless stream of lies, distortions, half-truths, propaganda, false claims, made-up facts, treasonous banter, harmful advice, and good-old-American-bullshit.
Glenn Beck seems to host what outwardly appears to be a cable news program, but is in reality a paid political shill factory with zero journalistic qualities. Glenn Beck is also accompanied by several other of these "Fox Newscasters," all of of whom have never attended any type of journalism academy or have received degrees in said subject.
What to do if you encounter Glenn beck:
Your best hope is to toss him a bottle of cheap scotch, run in the opposite direction and hope for the best!
Not satisfied with having a cable "news" show, Glenn Beck must also spout his banter on a syndicated radio program as well.
by Ozymandius June 17, 2010
A over paid, non-educated, raging alcoholic, pill popping Latter-day Saint. He speaks, cries and broadcasts lies, mis-facts and is trying to impress the misguided right wing in the US. Guess if he believes in the Mormon Church, he believes the lies that pour from his mouth.
A: Uh-oh, Mormon missionaries, run!
B: Why? They are cute!!
A: They will Glenn Beck your ass.
B: RUN!
B: Why? They are cute!!
A: They will Glenn Beck your ass.
B: RUN!
by Taco2lip January 11, 2010
by EasyRiderz December 15, 2009
The only male in history to survive an abortion
Not once
Not twice
but THREE times...but even greatness such as this comes with a price
And in this case it's called mental retardation
BUT THIS MAN PERSEVERED!!!
And accompanied his mental illness with drug abuse and alcoholism
AND THIS MAN STILL STANDS TALL, HE STILL STANDS STRONG!!!
He will own all your bases....he will own the children you thought would be safe inside those bases and unlike the mighty Titan Cronos (who inspired Obama to be a Marxist. I know this because Glenn knows this) He will not imprison them in his stomach...
BUT HE WILL DISINTEGRATE THEM FOR THEIR INEPTNESS AND LACK OF ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!
Not once
Not twice
but THREE times...but even greatness such as this comes with a price
And in this case it's called mental retardation
BUT THIS MAN PERSEVERED!!!
And accompanied his mental illness with drug abuse and alcoholism
AND THIS MAN STILL STANDS TALL, HE STILL STANDS STRONG!!!
He will own all your bases....he will own the children you thought would be safe inside those bases and unlike the mighty Titan Cronos (who inspired Obama to be a Marxist. I know this because Glenn knows this) He will not imprison them in his stomach...
BUT HE WILL DISINTEGRATE THEM FOR THEIR INEPTNESS AND LACK OF ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!
Glenn Beck knows when you're sleeping...he knows when you're awake and he knows if you've been conservative or Marxist so conserve for conserving sake.
And if you DARE DECEIVE HIM, he will hunt down your family, your friends, your co-workers, your landlord, even the people who protect you and you will PRAY & BEG for mercy....but he never forgives and never forgets and he will never eat.....he will never sleep.....and he will never...stop....
And if you DARE DECEIVE HIM, he will hunt down your family, your friends, your co-workers, your landlord, even the people who protect you and you will PRAY & BEG for mercy....but he never forgives and never forgets and he will never eat.....he will never sleep.....and he will never...stop....
by I'MFAT!!! October 15, 2009
1. A mangina that pisses sitting down.
2. The fecal drippings from a buttsex creampie that run down the taint to create an unwanted pregnancy.
3. An aborted abortion, the result being that only the brains have been vacuumed but the person remains very much alive.
4. One of the original Garbage Pail Kids.
5. An "anchorman" who leaks estrogen out of his man-tits and cries repeatedly but is still one of the most fair and balanced personalities on Fox News.
2. The fecal drippings from a buttsex creampie that run down the taint to create an unwanted pregnancy.
3. An aborted abortion, the result being that only the brains have been vacuumed but the person remains very much alive.
4. One of the original Garbage Pail Kids.
5. An "anchorman" who leaks estrogen out of his man-tits and cries repeatedly but is still one of the most fair and balanced personalities on Fox News.
1. I know she wears a skirt, but that's a dick-tucking Glenn Beck.
2. She went to the clinic to take care of that Glenn Beck.
3. That poor Glenn Beck can't even velcro his shoes by himself.
4. That Glenn Beck is the least valuable Garbage Pail Kid card ever.
5. Wow. Did you see Glenn Beck last night? That was a great newscast!
2. She went to the clinic to take care of that Glenn Beck.
3. That poor Glenn Beck can't even velcro his shoes by himself.
4. That Glenn Beck is the least valuable Garbage Pail Kid card ever.
5. Wow. Did you see Glenn Beck last night? That was a great newscast!
by theconcernedcitizen June 19, 2009