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employeet

dude 1: yo i just got employeeted from my job

dude 2: oofers
by Eboshi_Ren August 16, 2019
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Employees Only Room

A room employees do to have lunch, get a drink, have sex, masturbate, and anal sex. I’m calling the cops now
by OneFuckingMachete October 3, 2019
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Employee

People who had sold their time, individuality and soul to an institution that use them like disposable batteries while paying them just enough to survive, not a dollar more.

Their lives can be pretty much summarized in a few lines:
They wake up to the sound of alarm, skip breakfast, commute in unbearable traffic (and for some in shitty weather conditions) while worried about not making it on time and being reprimanded, sit on their desk (the same they had been sitting for years/decades) 8 hours a day while doing some useless repetitive tasks that even a kid with down syndrome can do, respect office politics and smile to people they hate just to abide by the "etiquette". Then they go back home in the same soul-crushing traffic, eat, watch TV, and sleep.
This same routine is EXACTLY followed by them for 5 days a week - for the rest of their lives.

The main reasons they endure this hell are:
- They take zero risk to change their situation and prefer to stay in their comfort zone
- They are brainwashed and believe this is the only way how life should be
- They want to indulge in consumerism and buy useless stuff since they are not free to spend it on useful life experiences. For example they can't travel because the time spent in the plane would be longer than their weekend.
- They got married and have kids to feed and buy iPads for.
- They have a mortgage

PS: most of them are also brown nosers
Dude 1: bro I'm feeling miserable at work, what to do?
Dude 2: dude just quit and start your own business
Dude 1: but what if I fail?
Dude 2: and what if you succeed? you'll be your own boss, sleep whenever you want, wake up whenever you want, and take vacations as much as you want!
Dude 1: hmm.. I don't know.. but I guess I'll stay at my job. I can't risk being unable to pay for my mortgage, loans, kids toys, wife's hairdresser...
Dude 2: ok ok shut up! you're just a typical employee
by virginkiller90 March 2, 2016
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Essential employee

A person that wants to stay at home in quarantine due to COVID-19 but can't due to the fact they cannot telecommute and there are no legal protections in place for the employee. So, she/he has to make a choice between (A) working for money with the increased risk of exposure, (B) staying at home and burning PTO until it runs out, or (C) leaving the company and having no income. Those living paycheck to paycheck (for whatever reason that may be is inconsequential at this point), wind up putting themselves and their family at greater risk because they have to keep a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, and food on the table.
John wanted to stay at home during the COVID-19 quarantine across America, but he was told he was an essential employee and could lose his job if he didn't show up for work. Having no savings, John swallowed his pride, went to work, got infected with COVID-19 by a fellow employee in the same situation, and died.
by Sausage75 March 24, 2020
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The Great Employer

One of the Trumpster’s favorite nicknames for himself when he’s feeling low and trying to suck up to Hispanics.
At varying times in my ultra-successful life I have been called The Great Employer since all of my ultra-successful businesses have steadily employed so many undocumented immigrants that you probably would be unable to count them since they are in fact not documented!
by Dr Bunnygirl July 25, 2020
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employment fellatio

The ability for a really poor employee to keep theirjob by performing oral sex on their boss at regular intervals.
Melissa is always late, her works sucks, she's dumber than shit and the other workers find her annoying as hell. But, she has been able to keep her job by performing a lot of employment fellatio.
by 23rd Chromosome November 23, 2015
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Employment Officer

A person who is appointed by the Job Centre, to fail you in nearly every aspect of life.
'Hello i'm Sam; i'm your Employment Officer'
'My your stuby fingers look like sausages'
by Venom_of_Oswestry May 12, 2009
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