Cuntometer

Cuntometer (noun), Device for detecting cunts, example lawyers, politicians or estate agents. One holds the cuntometer in front of the target. If the target is a “cunt” then the device will show red, otherwise it shows green.

I met that sales guy from the estate agents yesterday, lucky I had my cuntometer, it showed red and I told him to f***k off and stick his beaujeu apartment up his ass.

by Dr Lingus December 9, 2008

Catheter Club

Prestigious drinking club of men who consume so much alcohol they wake up that night in the hospital to an RN Inserting a Catheter into the urethra of their penis.

Brock: Yo dude did you hear what happened to Bruno last night?
Brian: Yeah man, He got so trashed last night he kicked in his X's side mirrors and woke up screaming to a nurse putting a catheter into his dick head.
Brock: Finally we're not the only two out of our friends in the Catheter Club!

by CrazySteve49 February 21, 2013

catheterwood

An unexpected erection resulting from the insertion of a plastic tube (or, in the case of The Cider House Rules, a bamboo shoot) into the urethra, aka "pee hole."

Nurse: This may feel a bit uncomfortable going in.

(A moment of silence passes.)

Fellow: I have an erection.

Nurse: Oh, yes, catheterwood. That happens sometimes.

Fellow: I feel...proud.

Nurse: I can tell. At least you don't have any accessory catheternips.

by moleawack November 6, 2009

redneck catheter

A beer bottle used as a temporary urine recepticle.

15 minutes until the next rest stop; better just use a redneck catheter.

by tps12 October 26, 2006

crapometer

The metric measurement of crap

OK Steve, that story you just told me is way high on the crapometer.

by Jamie Sommers October 19, 2005

catheter

A hollow flexible tube for insertion into the urethra to drain urine from the bladder

Charlt - "I can't believe he tripped over your catheter cable."
Jorge - "Indeed, my penis hole is now 5 times as wide, yet bloody as an ox."

by Skott October 23, 2004

cytometer

1. Hell on earth. It will literally kill your soul. You should never utter the word cytometer because the photon gods will kill you.

2. Fancy ass cell counter. Not all that impressive unless you are trying to pad your resume.

3. Science box with lasers. Cannot get you laid.

4. End of the line science gadget for retard graduate students to waste time on.

5. I hate my life, after cytometry

You work on a cytometer?
Yeah!
I'm breaking up with you.

by laserface444 February 25, 2011