cytometer 

1. Hell on earth. It will literally kill your soul. You should never utter the word cytometer because the photon gods will kill you.

2. Fancy ass cell counter. Not all that impressive unless you are trying to pad your resume.

3. Science box with lasers. Cannot get you laid.

4. End of the line science gadget for retard graduate students to waste time on.

5. I hate my life, after cytometry

You work on a cytometer?
Yeah!
I'm breaking up with you.

cytometer by laserface444 February 25, 2011

Cuntometer 

The measured effect of a cunt on a social or business setting

God, the cuntometer hit 11 in the office today!

Cuntometer by Canadaone October 22, 2013

capometer 

A measuring instrument used to determine if one is capping or not.

Creg: Beep,Beep,Beep,Beep...... CAP!
Tykisha: I swear Im not capping!!
Rodney: She's capping
Capometer- An instrument used to determine if one is caping or not.

capometer by ThotDetectionServices November 4, 2019

Cuntometer 

Cuntometer (noun), Device for detecting cunts, example lawyers, politicians or estate agents. One holds the cuntometer in front of the target. If the target is a “cunt” then the device will show red, otherwise it shows green.

I met that sales guy from the estate agents yesterday, lucky I had my cuntometer, it showed red and I told him to f***k off and stick his beaujeu apartment up his ass.

Cuntometer by Dr Lingus December 9, 2008

Catometer 

Using your cat as an instrument for determining current weather and climate conditions.

"It must still be snowing out. I let Puffy in and the catometer is covered in snow."

Catometer by Web Head #1 February 22, 2010

Corometery

A small area in the cemetery that has been allocated for those who had died of Covid-19, so that future generations would remember the price their ancestors paid in fighting the pandemic.

Only the wealthy have so far been able to bury their loved ones in a corometery, because the burial space commands a premium price, which is beyond what the common people could afford—who says that death doesn’t differentiate between the rich and the poor?

Corometery by Covido November 14, 2020