compaq

Overpriced piece of shit computer company with even shittier customer service, run by foreigners who couldn't speak English to save their lives.

Compaq sucks....dude I should've gotten a Dell

by BFG December 3, 2003

compaq

a) a warning label affixed to boxes and merchandise, for sale. Similar, to the book of revelations in the bible... just condensed.

b) a proprietary computer where You can't replace anything on your own.. you can't hire anyone besides compaq to fix it.. as they can't get the parts...
Not even screws.

c) the source of 25% of all the scrap metal contained in landfills abroad.

Aw f*ck.. not another compaq.

by Stuart January 30, 2004

Compaq

Compaq (Kom-Pac) noun 1. A weapon in the shape of a laptop, however, does not offer the services as one.

Dude, look at that loser over there thinking he's hot shit sipping a latte with his Compaq ... "HEY JACK ASS! Get some money together and buy a Toshiba!"

by AR777 September 20, 2010

compaq

Computer manufacturer that makes everything from handheld computers (pocket size computer) to the gs320 (a UNIX server the size of a uhaul van). They also made good portable systems until they merged with hp (now their laptops suck because they only have 1 memory slot).

I have an old compaq system with 2 memory slots

by root@localhost August 23, 2003

compaq

A machine that has everything on the motherboard and the motherboard never works

Dude i wuz gonna game on my compaq at the lan but i had to take it apart and solder the fan to the usb port and reinstall windows.

by caffeinatedsoap October 2, 2003

compaq

A computer so low in quality, the only computers lower than it are Apple Computers.

Steve: "Dude, you'r gettin' a Dell!"

John: "Ya, but it's got to be better than this fucking Compaq. By the way, are you high?"

by Punkhead May 28, 2005

compaq

The invention-free PC marketing company that attempted to acquire some brains by buying Digital Equipment Corporation but failed to layoff all of themselves at the same time... so now they all got sucked up by HP and COMPAQ is dead.

Maybe Enron should pull a COMPAQ and buy Saudia-Arabia.

by RichyDee March 3, 2003