roll a dildo in glitter

A metaphor for spending a lot of time making something that in the end is useless.

"You could spend months meticulously constructing a clipper ship piece by piece in a glass bottle. Or, you could do the Republican method and just roll a dildo in glitter."

by angrydroid July 28, 2009

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With a dildo up your ass

This is what you add to the end of a fortune you get from a fortune cookie at a Chinese food restaurant. There is always some asshole that tells you to add "in bed" at the end. That is weak.

Marvin: what did your fortune say?
Charlie: It says "You will soon find great pleasure with a dildo up your ass"
Marvin: You don't have to be a turd tapping dickhead.
Charlie: Fuck this Chinese food bullshit. Let's go to Mountain Mikes for Pizza next time.
Marvin: OK

by Apocalypto March 30, 2011

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Stop freezing your shit and buy a dildo.

What you say to someone who is being cheap.

Derives from cheap whores who, instead of buying a dildo, shit into a condom and freeze it in order to use it as a device for masturbating.

Woman: "Honey, I bought some rola-cola from the shop."

Man: "What? You couldn't buy any Coca-Cola? Stop freezing your shit and buy a dildo."

by Team Twat October 25, 2010

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Go together like a dildo and a fork

Means it doesn't go together well..... like a dildo and a fork.

Me and Sarah go together like a dildo and a fork.

by AcutalSnake November 15, 2018

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Anything's a dildo if you try hard enough

Meaning if you really really really want, you could shove anything up your rectum or vagina. If you're horny enough, you can (and will) use anything as a masturbatory tool.

You were masturbating with a pizza? How is that even possible???
- Anything's a dildo if you try hard enough!

by Desmond G. April 13, 2014

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