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Uncle willie

A mainly Scottish originating term referring to one's penis.
E.g. Eric Clapton song "hand jive" the lyrics "doing the hand jive with uncle willie" meaning that the individual described was indulging in masturbation.
by Kingcobrakenny October 27, 2017
mugGet the Uncle williemug.

secret uncle

Your own personal uncle that is secret to the rest of the world.
Mikalah: I swear i have a secret uncle.
Madi: I don’t believe you, show me.
mikalah: I can’t it’s a secret!
by Jeeoh July 26, 2021
mugGet the secret unclemug.

Uncle Precious

A badass uncle who doesn't a shit about what others think! He's always welcoming and hospitable. On friday nights especially, he'll invite you to his house (which he cutely calls his lair) for fifa. Once you enter, you'll begin to notice, there is no TV. As a matter face, there is no furniture. Cum stains litter the walls.

"Wait what!" you'll scream,
"Cmon you know you love it" he'll respond.
He then shoves you into its scrotum where it smells like fish and the flesh hugs you from all sides.

Defined by his parents, Uncle Precious is a family sweetheart. When he was younger though, he went a horny rebellious teen phase. They would be eating dinner, when the whole house would begin to smell like fish. Yet the scent would grow stronger and stronger. Uncle Precious would come closer and closer. Hornier and hornier.
"What the shit Precious! It smells like fish!"
"Cmon you know you love it!" he would respond
"HE LOOKS HORNY!!!" My mother would cry, noting the massive bump in his pants.

"On the count of 3, 1... 2... RUN!!!" My grandmother shout.
Uncle precious would then run around the house terrifying the family members while stroking his member, his dick wagging in front of him like a happy dog.

Then, something snapped inside my grandfather. He pulled out the 16mm thumbtack from his front pocket. And pinned his scrotum to all corners of the house. He never misbehaved, ever again. Until, his sister had children.
"Please be gentle this time Uncle Precious, last time your rough scrotum really hurt me!"
"Cmon Uncle, do I really have to take Viagra the third time this day, I'm already bricked as hell!"
"UNCLE PRECIOUS: I'M GOING SOFT,!!!! I NEED MY VIAGRA!!!! I CANT BE SOFT EVER AGAIN!!!!!"
by UnclePrecious December 27, 2023
mugGet the Uncle Preciousmug.

Garth's Uncle

To Tighten something like uncle garth
Person 1: "Whos tightened that up? "

Person 2: "Garth's uncle!"

Or

When tigheting something:
Person "Garth it!"
by Mr.Lamb22 February 26, 2024
mugGet the Garth's Unclemug.

uncle noodle

the performance of felatio on a flaccid penis through the time it become erect and until completion.
Troy: Hilary woke me up to the an uncle noodle!

David: So I guess you can say you started your day off on the right foot.

Troy: dude shut your corny ass up
by RanchOnEverythang July 8, 2016
mugGet the uncle noodlemug.

Uncle Glenning

A person who eats food while defecating into a toliet.
Did Kirk just came out of the bathroom with an empty plate?

Yeah, he was Uncle Glenning it in there.

Wow, that gross...but efficient.
by Dirty Belugas July 18, 2012
mugGet the Uncle Glenningmug.

Pull an uncle Peter

When you ejaculate into food and gain sexual gratification from doing so
Last night Alexanded said that he was going to pull an uncle peter
by Ass cracker 56 January 4, 2024
mugGet the Pull an uncle Petermug.

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