Uncle Precious

A badass uncle who doesn't a shit about what others think! He's always welcoming and hospitable. On friday nights especially, he'll invite you to his house (which he cutely calls his lair) for fifa. Once you enter, you'll begin to notice, there is no TV. As a matter face, there is no furniture. Cum stains litter the walls.

"Wait what!" you'll scream,
"Cmon you know you love it" he'll respond.
He then shoves you into its scrotum where it smells like fish and the flesh hugs you from all sides.

Defined by his parents, Uncle Precious is a family sweetheart. When he was younger though, he went a horny rebellious teen phase. They would be eating dinner, when the whole house would begin to smell like fish. Yet the scent would grow stronger and stronger. Uncle Precious would come closer and closer. Hornier and hornier.
"What the shit Precious! It smells like fish!"
"Cmon you know you love it!" he would respond
"HE LOOKS HORNY!!!" My mother would cry, noting the massive bump in his pants.

"On the count of 3, 1... 2... RUN!!!" My grandmother shout.
Uncle precious would then run around the house terrifying the family members while stroking his member, his dick wagging in front of him like a happy dog.

Then, something snapped inside my grandfather. He pulled out the 16mm thumbtack from his front pocket. And pinned his scrotum to all corners of the house. He never misbehaved, ever again. Until, his sister had children.
"Please be gentle this time Uncle Precious, last time your rough scrotum really hurt me!"
"Cmon Uncle, do I really have to take Viagra the third time this day, I'm already bricked as hell!"
"UNCLE PRECIOUS: I'M GOING SOFT,!!!! I NEED MY VIAGRA!!!! I CANT BE SOFT EVER AGAIN!!!!!"
by UnclePrecious December 28, 2023
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Uncle Edward Jr.

Uncle Edwards little brother doesn’t have his five guys yet and uncle Edward will help train him to get his five guys uncle Edward said once uncle Edward Jr. I will have Tyrone the big black African monkey suck your dick then you shall get your five guys but you will never be as good as be at making skin milk.
My friends little brother was being a uncle Edward Jr.
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double-great-cousin-uncle

Son of their great-grandparent’s full sibling with the other great-grandparent’s full sibling.
My double-great-cousin-uncle is a good person.
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Fuck your uncle day

You can fuck you hot and sexy ass uncle ;) have fun y’all
I wanna fuck my uncle :there’s a fuck your uncle day
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uncle bertie

That girls an uncle bertie
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Uncle Franked

The act of subjecting food, particularly kebabs, to a questionable culinary practice, this involves retrieving discarded kebab parts from the bin and reassembling them, replicating the controversial method practiced by a shop with the same name. It results in a meal with uncertain origins and potential gastrointestinal repercussions.
We ordered a kebab from that dodgy place down the road, and I swear they Uncle Franked it. I found bits of mystery meat in there that I'm pretty sure came straight from the bin.
by Suttleacees June 12, 2024
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fourth cousin-uncle

My fourth cousin-uncle is a good person.
by Hgcloziw November 23, 2019
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