spanking the monkey

waxing the carrot, choking the bishop, jacking the beanstock, yankee-ing the doodle,peting the one eyed wonder weasel, waxing the wood, caulking the cracks, jacking off, wanking.

"Oh dear jebus, jimmy is spanking the monkey in class!!!"

by bhrome April 07, 2004

spank the monkey

When a man masterbates or strokes his penis

All of a sudden, he pulled down his pants and started spanking that monkey!

by The Molster March 04, 2004

spank rag

The recipient of frequent masturbation, usually a sock or old tee-shirt.

Something smelled like graham crackers. It was a washcloth he used as a spank rag, which he kept under his bed.

by Andizzle4Life August 18, 2005

spanking stick

a red sexual object, that resembles a devils triton, has a tendancy to spank peoples backsides, when they are least expecting. Is uncontrolable, will feel uncontrolable pleasure if this happens to you.

woman walks down street, drops keys, bends over, and THE SPANKING STICK strikes at full Pelt.

by CG October 28, 2003

Spank Monkey

Someone who's life has been consumed by internet porn, and they spend all their time beating off in front of the computer.

Tommy turned into a spank monkey when his family got high speed internet service.

by Willey P September 09, 2007

Middleton Spank

A spank given only and exclusively by Tyler Middleton. These spanks are priceless, sensational, as well as very precious to one’s arse. Getting one of these can cost a pretty penny, but is well worth the money.

Friend: “Why are you walking with a limp?”

You: “Just received a Middleton Spank.”

by kurtcolayne October 23, 2019

Spanking the moonface

Another slang for masturbating, pleasuring ones self or fingering.
May be used in conjunction with beating the pufferfish.

Person A: What are you doing?
Person B: Beating the pufferfish.
Person A: What the actual....?
Person B: You know, spanking the moonface.
Person A: Ah.... I'll leave you to it then.

by Tbell November 10, 2014