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Retail Terrorist

A store customer, usually female, who vents her negative feelings toward herself and/or the world by displaying contempt for the retail stores she frequents and their employees. Retail terrorism is manifested but not limited to the following behaviors: 1) Opening, damaging, or stealing store merchandise while complaining about store prices; 2) (Mis)taking the presence of employees to mean that they are there not to offer general assistance but to act as her/his personal shopper; 3) Attempting to take any company policy to its absolute limit by making ludicrous requests such as trying to return obviously well-used merchandise with no receipt attached or that the store does not carry, or asking the store to hold merchandise for her for an indefinite period; 4) Entering the store one minute before closing and taking her time making her selections knowing full well that the employees want her to leave so they can go home; 5) Deliberately behaving in an aggressive or combative manner in order to provoke employees and then complaining about employees to store management, which complaining may include lying and/or crocodile tears.

A retail terrorist is distinguished from a disgruntled customer by the latter's genuine question or complaint and earnest desire to resolve a problem. By contrast, the retail terrorist's main objective is to spread ill will and vent her free-floating hostility on a vulnerable target.
"I was yelled at today by a retail terrorist. She accused everyone who works for the company of conspiring to get rid of her after we wouldn't take her expired coupons and her credit card was rejected."

"Carla is well-known to store employees as a retail terrorist who will buy expensive cosmetics to wear for a special occasion and then return them all the next day."

"The retail terrorist tried on almost every piece of clothing in Jane's department, trashed the dressing room, let her toddler run wild, and only bought a pair of socks that she later returned without a receipt."
by MayIHelpYou January 17, 2010
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retard jones

a downright stupid and worthless being that usually wear (but are not limited to) velcro shoes and can't think for themselves and speak in a foreign tung .
hey retard jones what you lookin at i ain't got no porkchop sandwiches for you.
by kalisz June 14, 2010
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Crypto-Retard

Someone who is so retarded that they don't know they are a retard. A person whose entire family is dumb as fuck, but they all lied to this person and told him that he is smart. In truth the person is the stupidest fuck alive.
You fucking crypto-retard; you dumb cunt. Go back to the first grade you crypto-retard. Can you even read you crypto-retard?
by YouDumbMan October 24, 2017
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Turbo Retard

A Turbo Retard is someone who acts so quickly, they don't have time to think about what they're doing. This usually ends up being something so dumb, everyone in a 50m radius facepalms in disbelief, its like a train wreck you just can't look away.

Turbo retards act faster than synapse exchange, and thus cannot understand how retarded their actions are.
In their minds they are gods among men, galaxy brains surrounded by smooth brains.
Bob went Turbo Retard the other day... he just bought a whole new monitor because his display cable was broken.
Damn Frank over there is going Turbo Retard on those targets, has he even landed a shot?
Damn Billy you gotta stop going Turbo Retard or you'll never work out how to solve this one.
by Admiral Doot Doot June 15, 2021
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Retard Alert

A way of warning people that a retard is present in the vicinity. Can be either verbal or typed. Used primarily on forums when someone says something so incredibly ignorant or stupid, you simply cannot believe it.
Noob: THE GP2X IS BETTER THAN THE PANDORA
forum member: ...The Pandora isn't even out yet......
another member: Oh god, RETARD ALERT!
by DCGM June 4, 2008
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retard farm

the act of planting and harvesting retards
oh man look at those retards!
yeah they probably came from tom's retard farm.
by deepthroats March 26, 2010
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retard

People who think they have to take their pets with them everywhere they go.
That retard left their dog in the hot car with the windows rolled up at Walmart again.
by Spanky420247 May 1, 2014
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