Jesus Jerk

Someone who pushes their religion off on other people because they find theirs to be superior.

Jon: Anyone who doesn't believe in Christ our Savior will be banished to hell forever!!!!

Tom: Wow, Jon's a real Jesus Jerk.

by rockrangel January 13, 2011

jesus rock

Shitty, popcore "rock" "music," performed by marginally talented "musicians," for the purposes of:

1) Propagating skewed and fundamentalist beliefs to the ignorant and uninitiated;

2) Making shitloads of money

Yuppie Christian apologist shitheads force their halftarded children to listen to jesus rock in lieu of spending time with them.

by c0q_m1x3r July 13, 2004

Jesus Christ

A fictional character from the Imagination Land episodes of South Park. Who, inadvertently, is quite the sharp-shooter with an M16.

Jesus Christ killed all the bad imaginary people with his M16.

by Scoggins February 28, 2010

Jesus Freak

1.) Someone willing to lay everything down for Jesus
2.) A person who is not afraid, by any means, to publicly profess to anyone that they love Jesus Christ.
3.) Being who is not ashamed to be persecuted for the Lord that they believe in.

I don't really care if they label me a Jesus Freak, because you can't disquise the truth.

by Raina March 8, 2005

Jesus Christ

The main character in the fiction story "The Bible". Portrayed by Jim Caviezel in the movie version.

Person 1- Dude, I just read The Bible. That Jesus Christ guy was kick ass. If only that was real...
Christian Asshole- It was real, he died for all of our sins.
Person 1- I bet you expect me to believe he turned water into wine too and healed people by 'miracles'. You're such a joker :D
(Christian Asshole walks away to go to church like a bitch instead of watching the Ravens vs Steelers)

by Joe Balls69 June 29, 2011

Jesus Is the Answer

A seemingly naive or simplistic solution to one's life problems that Jesus can make the impossible possible—a crazy idea to the cynical or skeptical nonbeliever.

Be it in health, relationships, career, or finances, one can expect a breakthrough if one believes that Jesus is more than willing to turn one's life around—this is why Jesus is the answer to all of one's life's problems.

by MathPlus January 22, 2017

Jesus Virus

A virus you can get from a porn site. Because Jesus does not want you looking at porn.

13 year old kid: Man, I got a jesus Virus the other day.
Other person: Did your parents find out?
13 yr old kid: Nah I have a porn eraser.

by TheNewJTM1 July 20, 2009