toilet muffin

A toilet muffin occurs when the toilet users ass exceeds twice the diameter of the toilet seat and the ass cheeks hang over the side like a muffin.

Bob: Cathy, how can you tell where your pee is going?

Cathy: I just center my toilet muffin over the seat and hope the cheeks don't hit the floor.

by Nate, Mike & Todd February 11, 2007

warm toilet seat

Quite possibly the only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm toilet seat. The thought of sitting and basking in the misery of someone else's rectal warmth is not only disturbing, but also detestable, repugnant, hideous, and completely repulsive. The most heinous, hardened criminal should not have to suffer a fate as bad as sitting on a warm toilet seat.

Those that enjoy warm toilet seats usually also enjoy drinking room temperature coffee, eating food off the floor despite the expiration of the 5-second rule, not washing their hands after using the bathroom (worsened only by the use of a warm toilet seat), discarding of damp baby diapers into a trash receptacle inside the house, using a reused plastic bag to pick-up dog feces with their hand, and other vile, wretched acts.

The only thing worse than a warm toilet seat is a warm public toilet seat. Should you find yourself forced to use a warm public toilet seat, you should promptly burn all of the flesh subjected to this unholy hell. May God have mercy on your soul.

Jeff: OMG! I just had to use the bathroom in the office. The toilet seat was......WARM!

Kari: Dear God! A warm toilet seat? Say it ain't so!

Jeff: It is so. I'm so ashamed, but there was no alternative.

Kari: I will pray for you. Meanwhile, here's some gasoline and a match. You know what you have to do.

by SmellyMullet June 16, 2014

More dick than a toilet seat

The act of a woman screwing many different guys. Analogous to a man getting 'more ass than a toilet seat.'

That woman has been out getting more dick than a toilet seat. She's has layed almost everything except the trans-Atlantic phone cable.

by LaughingAloud March 29, 2010

Toilet Read

A Toilet Read is a book or magazine that stays in the bathroom/toilet area and is read when one is sitting on the toilet.

I don't often have time to read books due to my heavy schedule. However I always manage to pick up my "toilet read" and read a few pages every day while I'm on the toilet.

by annieoakley August 30, 2010

Toilet Nazi

n. A malicious individual who leaves only one turn of toilet paper on the roll so when you use it you can only make a thin wiping tool, and your finger breaks through and gets shitty

Theres a toilet nazi amongst us and im going to camp the bog until i find the bastard

by sjors September 11, 2005

level 5 gyat rizz livvy dune rizzing up baby gronk ice spice what the dog doin skibidi toilet in real life only in ohio we go jim zyzz creatine alpha sigma cuh dey boad

Brainrot

Person A: level 5 gyat rizz livvy dune rizzing up baby gronk ice spice what the dog doin skibidi toilet in real life only in ohio we go jim zyzz creatine alpha sigma cuh dey boad
Person B: Ok son, now eat the cheese that definitely doesn't have your anti-psychotic pills

by spike827 October 20, 2023

toilet painting

a spray of loose fecal material that colors the walls of the commode

projectile dirrrhea

by Sirgey Pinchalov September 20, 2003