textolepsy

Textolepsy (n) It's like narcolepsy, except the patient doesn't fall asleep, they lapse into a text conversation on their phone, suddenly losing all awareness of their surroundings. Typified by slumping shoulders, twiddling of thumbs, and a smartphone several inches from the patient's face. May occur in the middle of a conversation, during a meal, in class or, in severe cases, on stage during a community theater performance. Beware that patients suffering from this disorder are rarely aware that they are drifting away or how long they have been in "the texting place". Most patients believe that they were being totally nonchalant and that their frequent texting has gone completely unnoticed when in fact it's totally obvious to everybody.

Mary: Can you believe that the bride's maid was texting during the ceremony?

Jane: I know. How did she not know that everyone could see her? I felt so embarassed for her.

Mary: Maybe she was having one of those textoleptic episodes or something.

Jane: Whatever. Fucking textoleptic idiots.

Mary: Jane, I don't like it when you talk that way. Textolepsy is a serious disease.

Jane: I know that, Mary. I've never told you before, but my mother suffered from textolepsy. *sobs*

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: I've never told that to anyone...

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: ...but I trust you and you always listen so well and...

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: ...Mary?

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: Were you texting just now?

Mary: Oh, I was just replying to my friend who sent me a funny picture and...

Jane: YOU FUCKING TEXTOLEPTIC BITCH!

by vinnypod December 7, 2012

sausage texter

a straight male who texts another straight male strictly for a converstaion or to just "talk".

Dylan: Hey buddy :)

Jake: Dude are you serious?

Dylan: What do you mean? :(

Jake: Im not a sausage texter bro. You know this.

by Jim Richalds. September 16, 2009

thirsty texter

1. a thirsty texter is that person who will text you something and then text you the same damn thing 5 minutes later if you dont text them back.

1. a thirsty texter may also send one text then another unrelated one a few minutes later if you haven't responded.

1. 7:15 Heyyyy (from John)
7:20 Heyyyy (from John)
7:22 Stop being a thirsty texter! Maybe I didn't text back right away because I was busy!!! (from Jill)

2. 7:15 So what are you wearing to the party tonight? (from Mary)
7:20 I saw this really cute dress at the store today... (from Mary)

by boxb June 10, 2009

conservation texter

1.one who have a irrational fear of text/typing full words
2.one who is to lazy to text/type full words so therefore they use abbreviations

1.janice stop conservation texting me and use real f***ing words
2.d*** are you going to keep conservation texting me all night or put together a coherent sentence
3. (from conservation texter) r.o.t.f.l. l.ol.

by oamaison1 July 1, 2009

Textard

n. The combination of the words 'text' and 'retard'. Used to describe someone that will constantly use text-speak nearly to the point of you wanting to slap them several times for looking so unintelligent and all-around annoying. However, using frequent text language, with the acception of cell phones and actual text usage, does not make one a textard. To be a textard, they must use text-speak constantly for virtually every word in the sentence when it's unnecessary.

AIM discussion:

RosesRed33: Hey, whats up?

Textard41: OMG liek hai!! omfg i saw teh awesomest moveh evar, it wuz amazin, cuz i went 2 teh 1 thtre w/ mah bf that wuz kool, rite??

RosesRed33: Ugh, will you please stop talking like a textard? It's really annoying.

by TheWhatGirl September 11, 2009

over-texter

A person who persistently sends long and boring text messages to your phone when it would be much easier to just call

Scott:Hmmmm it would appear that rodoliver has sent me one to many text messages, he is quite the over-texter

Joe:Ah yes, I concur

by Scott Garrett July 20, 2006

Double Texter

Someone who texts you once, then, for whatever reason when you don't text back they feel the need to text you again. Possibly on the same topic but usually consists of a sad face and a question conscerning your friendship (usually sarcastic). This has the potential to make you resent someone.

"Hey what's going on homie?"

No text back

":( Or just don't reply. I thought we were friends?!?"

"Why are you such a double texter noob? It really pisses me off...I was doing laundry I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO RESPOND!!!"

by S N double O P D O double G April 14, 2009